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The Gay Agenda

9THURSDAY
If queer Utahns have to lose one of their most eloquent, passionate, intelligent and downright handsome leaders, we can at least comfort ourselves with the thought that our brothers and sisters around the nation will benefit. As ­Michael Mitchell prepares to leave Equality Utah to head up the ACLU’s Marriage Campaign, his supporters and fans will be sending him off in style at the Equality Utah Appreciation Party. Attendance bonus: all proceeds from the evening will benefit the election campaign of our own Scott McCoy.
6pm, Cactus and Tropicals, 2735 S 2000 East. $10 suggested donation (no one will be turned away.) RSVP at 355-3479

10FRIDAY
Some of Salt Lake’s most brilliant and talented queer youth will take the stage tonight to tell one another’s stories of coming out and coming to terms when Tooth and Nail Theatre presents Project Fabulocity—a brand new theatre piece created from weeks of workshops conducted with queer youth and their straight advocates. Come out and support these kids—after all, we’re supposed to be teaching them well and letting them lead the way, remember?
8pm tonight and tomorrow, 3pm Saturday, 6pm Sunday, Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center, 138 W Broadway. Tickets $10 at 355-2787 or arttix.org

 It’s Pride Time again kids, and this time we’ve got something extra special to celebrate—our very own gay senator! Sen. Scott McCoy deserves our kudos—not just because he’s gay, but also because he’s a smart guy with good ideas who’ll be a grand senator. Come give Scott a pat on the back at the Utah Pride 2005 Grand Marshal Reception, where, in addition to hobnobbing with the power gays, your can enjoy entertainment by Eric McKenna.
6pm-8pm, Salt Lake City Main Library, 210 E 400 South. Tickets $25, RSVP at 539-8800.

11SATURDAY
Everything from organically-grown tomatoes to flavored honeys to hand-made sarongs are available again as the Downtown Farmers’ Market starts up again for another summer. Get there early (fresh-brewed coffee is available) before the good veggies are snatched up by those that call the market their religion. Worth setting the alarm for.
8am–1pm, Pioneer Park, 300 W. 300 South. downtownslc.org

 Here’s one for all you hapless pikers out there—John Edwards is coming! Yeah, the short guy with the bad facial hair who talks to dead people on TV! He’ll be conducting an “interactive seminar” concerning all that crossing over hooey. This would be an opportune place to see in-person the types of people who believe they’ve been abducted by aliens.
12pm, Capitol Theatre, 50 W 200 South. Tickets $39-$59 at 355-2787 or arttix.org

 Life here in the reddest of states can get rough sometimes for a gay guy or lesbian lady. One weekend every year we get to take to the streets, raise our voices, and speak our minds. Here’s a listing of today’s Pride events:

 Dyke March If you are a dyke, or wish to see or be seen by dykes, this is the place to be.
Rally at 6pm, March at 6:45pm, corner of North Temple and State. Free.

 Being gay is good! Can I get a “hallelujah?” Transgender folks are awesome! Can I get an “Amen?” Let’s not forget those fabulous bisexuals! Hallelujah! Oh, Lord, we even praise the Almighty for our wonderful straight allies! Amen! Come join the celebration of “Holy People—Equal Rites” at the fourth annual Pride Interfaith Celebration.
6:00pm, First Baptist Church, 877 E 1300 S. Free. A social reception will follow.

 Our people are burdened with innumerable cultural stereotypes. But hell, some of them are true—homos can dance! We will be out en masse tonight at the Pride Dance showing our stuff. The amount of energy expended during an average spin of “Hollaback Girl” at Gossip on a Friday night could power Parowan for a week, so you can just imagine what this is going to be like. Use plenty of product—you’ll sweat!
6pm-10pm, Library Square, 210 E 400 South. Free.

12SUNDAY
One of the best things about Pride is the view of hard bodies in that summer sun. Even better, why not be one of those hard bodies, working up a sweat at the Pride 5K Walk/Run/Roll.
Kicks off at 8:30am, Memory Grove Park. $25, register in advance by visiting www.utahpride.org or sign up at the event. Dogs welcome.

 There’s nothing like a parade to make a disparate group of citizens feel like a community. Celebrate the diversity and unity of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered Utah today at the Utah Pride Parade.
Kicks off 10am at 300 South and State.

 After the parade, it’s time to head down to the Pride Festival. As the pride website says, the Pride Day Festival is the grand finale of Utah’s Pride Celebration, where people from all over Utah, the nation, and the world come together to celebrate diversity and support this year’s theme: Equal Rights. No More. No Less. There will be great music in two stages, not to mention speeches from political and civic leaders, vendors, and attractive people everywhere.
11am-6pm, Library Square, 210 E 400 South. $5 at the gate or at Cahoot’s, The King’s English, and The Center.

14TUESDAY
What is the greatest Utah tradition of all? Pioneer Day? Hardly. Conference? Get the hell out of here. The BYU/Utah game? That’s a sport, silly! No, the greatest event of the Utah year is, and has been now for 26 years, Saturday’s Voyeur. This year’s edition is set in Utah County and will satire everything from Michael Moore to Bikini Cuts to Ken Jennings. The cast features perennial favorites like Brenda Sue Cowley, Annette Wright, Alexis Baigue and Jayne Luke.
7:30pm Tuesdays through Thursdays, 8pm Fridays and Saturdays, 2pm and 7pm Sundays through August 21, Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 West 500 North. Tickets $35-$45 at 355-2787 or arttix.org

15WEDNESDAY
Sadly, there will be no Shatner or Murphy Brown, but nonetheless, tonight marks the second evening of the not-at-all-misogynist Miss Utah “Scholarship Pageant.” I’ll give $10 to anyone who can chloroform a contestant and get her to read The Bell Jar. Free them! Free them!
7pm tonight, tomorrow, and Saturday, Abravanel Hall, 123 W South Temple. Tickets $25-$45 at 355-2787 or arttix.org

16THURSDAY
Odyssey Dance Theatre, just one of the stellar modern dance companies we’re lucky enough to have here in the City by the Pestilent Sea™, presents a new multimedia piece resulting from a collaboration by Kurt Bestor, Richard Paul Evans, and Derryl Yeager called The Dance. The show tells the touching story of a father as he watches his daughter dance and grow to maturity.
8pm through Saturday, 2pm Saturday afternoon, Capitol Theatre, 50 W 200 South, Tickets $15-$35 at 355-2787 or arttix.org

17FRIDAY
Not to be outdone, award-winning dance company SB Dance tonight opens the latest of their pieces produced in the ”theatre of movement” style. SPECIMEN: don’t tap the glass places organic and very physical dance styles in the context of an idea defined with props and words. You kinda have to see it to get it. It was good enough for the National Endowment for the Arts, so chances are you’ll be impressed.
8pm tonight and tomorrow, 2pm Sunday, Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center, 138 W Broadway. Tickets $15 at 355-2787 or arttix.org

18SATURDAY
The only thing better than an evening of improv is an evening of long-form improv. In addition to a glut of companies doing silly Whose Line Is It, Anyway? style theatre games, Utah is home to some producers of genuine improvisational theatre. See for yourself tonight as internationally touring duo JoKyR and Jesster present the latest of their monthly long-form shows. This show will feature a poetic exercise called “The Hook” that you just have to see to believe.
7:30pm, Sugarbeats, 2106 S 1100 East. Tickets $5 at the door.

21TUESDAY
Hot Hot Heat is a pretty hip band. They’re playing Salt Lake tonight along with another, not-quite-as-hip band called Robbers on High Street. It’s Tuesday night and the show is less than $20. What else are you going to do tonight?
7:30pm, In the Venue, 219 S 600 West. Tickets $13 in advance, $15 day of show at467-TIXX or smithstix.com

22WEDNESDAY
So, I don’t really have anything else to plug for tonight, so I guess I’ll mention that Dave Attell is here again. You know, the puffy, pasty drunken “comic” whose material consists solely of drinking jokes and references to fellatio, vomit, or any number of combinations of fellatio and vomit? If you have recently sustained some kind of head trauma or belong to a fraternity, enjoy!
7pm and 9pm, Wise Guys Comedy Club, 3500 S 2200 West. Tickets $25 at 467-TIXX or smithstix.com