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Well, unless you’re living under a rock, are out of the country or just plain don’t give a shit, most of you probably know that all of Hollywood’s writers — at least those registered with the Writer’s Guild of America — are on strike. I, however, am not registered with the guild, and the only screenplay I’ve ever written was as a horny 13-year-old starring Sharon Stone and Susan Sarandon in an erotic thriller, so this column will go on!

Some of Hollywood’s biggest stars are turning out to show their support for the striking writers. Leno dropped by with donuts — which makes sense, I guess. If you’re gonna be walking in a circle for hours on end, it’s the perfect time to cheat on your diet.

On that note, Eva Longoria brought pizza. But my gut says she didn’t eat a slice, and the writers were still pissed she worked for part of the day. Julia Louis-Dreyfus stepped it up a notch and grabbed a ­picket sign, as did her Old Christine co-star Wanda Sykes. Though I’d frankly like to see Wanda hop behind the wheel of a Denali and head straight for the studio heads who are cheating the real talent in Hollywood out of a few measly cents.

But the one star who let everyone down big time is Ellen DeGeneres. While Leno, John Stewart, Jimmy Kimmel and other talk shows went dark this week to support the strike, DeGeneres crossed the picket line and went to work as usual. She did tell the audience that in support of her writers she wouldn’t do a monologue Monday morning, but something tells me that had more to do with the fact that no one stuck around to help her write it. Bad move, El!

On the subject of talk shows, Rosie O’Donnell had one picked up and cancelled in one week. Now that’s fast even by Hollywood’s standards. Rumors were swirling on Nov. 6 that Rosie was in talks with MSNBC to top line her own political gab fest to air opposite Larry King Live. But two days later the project got shelved.

In that psycho-babble netspeak she uses on her blog, Rosie said it’s because she opened her big mouth prematurely and leaked to pending talk show to a Web site in Florida. But insiders say it has more to do with the fact that no one in entertainment can get Rosie to sign longer than a year’s contract — and for that year, the amount of money she wants is insane.

Let’s see, now. Rosie’s facing a lawsuit to end her magazine, a bankrupt Broadway show and the rift heard round the world when she vacated The View. It’s probably best MSNBC bowed out now, don’t you think?

Rosie, at least, is in better shape than Michael Jackson. Yup, the one time “King of Pop” resurfaced stateside for the first time in God knows how long to try and negotiate an extension to keep his Neverland Ranch from becoming the bank’s property. He allegedly owes more than $200,000 in back taxes. If reports are to be believed, the pop star who was at one time thought to be worth more than a quarter of a billion dollars, doesn’t have the cash.

Is this gonna be Janet to the rescue again? After all, she paid his staff the last time her brother faced money troubles. Her last album might have tanked, but that Tyler Perry film was a hit. I’m sure Hollywood will pony up some cash if you go the film route, Janet. Give it a whirl!

One person who could certainly afford to co-sign on a loan is Oprah Winfrey, but I wouldn’t approach her just yet.

The queen of all things media isn’t having the best time lately. First she had to deal with the accusations that someone’s molesting students at her school for girls in South Africa. She offered her sincerest apologies to the parents and said she’d failed them. Oprah cleaned house though and made it quite clear abuse of any kind will not be tolerated.

Well, now comes the news that children’s book Oprah recommended was penned by a white supremacist. Say what? You got that right. The Education Of Little Tree was a big hit when it was first published in the 70s. It tells the story of an orphaned boy raised by his Cherokee grandparents. But in the 90s, then deceased author Forrest Carter came under fire when he was exposed as a former Klan leader.

Um, yeah. Oprah liked that even less than finding out James Frey made up half of his book, A Million Little Pieces. Needless to say, Oprah’s Book Club is no longer educating folks on Little Tree.

In funny news — and when I say funny, I mean funny — the most unlikely of stars nearly came to blows in a Hollywood hotspot earlier this month. When George Clooney spotted photoraphers snapping shots in his direction, he flipped them off. Fabio, who was the one actually getting his pic taken, thought that was rude and confronted the A-lister.

I can see that. I mean, with George Clooney in the room, what are the chances a photog would stop for Fabio? He was probably pissed at George for inadvertently stealing the spotlight. Needless to say, Fabio had to say something and, just like that, it was on. George shoved Fabio right up into his I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter. A waiter had to break it up. Pathetic, if you ask me!

Fabio, of course, had to make a statement, because while George can just speed on over to Warner Bros. and take $10 million for whatever the fuck movie he feels like making this week, Fabio’s practically gotta bend over a wet bar to get $150 plus tip these days. And what did the former romance novel cover model have to say? “George is lucky he didn’t end up in the ER.”

Oh, cute! I get it, ‘cuz he used to be on that show. Yeah, that was lame.

Down in Florida, Nick Hogan’s luck finally ran out when cops arrested him on Nov. 6 in conjunction with that speed racing crash that left his friend with permanent brain damage. While the Hogan family has been praying for the friend’s full recovery, that ain’t gonna happen. The fact that said friend wasn’t wearing a seat belt really doesn’t do much for Hogan’s case, either.

According to reports, underage Hogan had been drinking while speeding. How fast? More than 60 in the 35, folks. The fact that it was Nick’s second offense just bodes worse for the underage would-be star: We’re talking time up the river here.

I can see it now. Hogan Knows Best: Behind Bars! That would make a killer third season.

And finally, for the three of you who were still waiting for an official statement, Jennifer Lopez is indeed pregnant, not just fat and bloated. She made the announcement at the final stop on her tour, Miami, saying she held out because she didn’t want to take away from the concert experience. Um, I think when you came out singing instead of dancing, you immediately killed the experience, Jen. Now, she says, she and Marc are going to step away from the spotlight for a while. Good. We’ve been saying it for two years. Do that!

And that, folks, is all the shit I can talk for now. Thanks for hanging in there, and remember. Take some time to stop and smell the gossip!

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