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How to Tell if Your Cat is Gay

1.    He’d rather watch the musical Cats than Animal Planet’s The Wild World of Birds

2.    After reading Dancing with Cats, he choreographs a disco routine to “New York City Boy” by The Petshop Boys.

3.    You find yourself captioning pictures of her on icanhascheezeburger.com with any of the following: "Is this the ruby fruit jungle?" "Tool time!" and, of course, “I can has pussy?”

4.    He uses your Buttarsaurus ™ plush doll as a scratching post.

5.    And sometimes an impromptu litter box.

6.    You’re not sure how it happened, but all of her toys and blankets are covered in flannel.

7.    Unless the cat nip is organic and comes from the local womyn’s co-op, she won’t touch it.

8.    He reads Ryan Shattuck.

9.    Any bulletin from Focus on the Family, the Westboro Baptist Church or the American Fork High School PTSA within 100 feet is confetti.

10. Your copy of QSaltLake keeps mysteriously ending up in her pet bed … along with the neighbor’s pretty little calico.

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