Ruby Ridge

Four, Five, SICKS!

So darlings, did you enjoy the Pride Festival this year? I certainly hope it was successful and you did. But because of our publishing deadlines, I’m writing this a full week in advance, so I might be totally off the reservation on this one. Knowing my prophetic bad luck there was probably a disastrous salmonella outbreak from the funnel cakes, or one of the leather queens got Life-Flighted to treat third degree assburns from wearing only chaps and a thong. Let’s face it pumpkins, if your butt cheeks are only going to see daylight once a year, then for the love of God use your sun block. It comes in super convenient non-greasy sprays now, so there is absolutely no excuse not to use it (and I know what you’re thinking cherubs, but no, lube doesn’t contain SPF protection. So while you may be avoiding friction it doesn’t mean you aren’t going to burn). But I digress. 


The one thing I am looking forward to at Pride is the performance by the Kinsey Sicks on Sunday. I’ve seen these ladies a few times and I am constantly in awe of their skills. They are talented vocalists, funnier than hell and they can work any room – be it a cruise ship lounge, a university theater or a Pride Festival stage – like nobody’s business. It’s always interesting to see a Kinsey Sicks audience, too, because it’s a bit like Noah’s Ark – gays, straights, dykes, singles, couples, and everyone from the young to the old. That diversity speaks volumes about the group’s wide-ranging appeal. But the thing that I really adore about the Kinsey Sicks is their ability to make political and social commentary so entertaining. Their lyrics and subject matter can be soooo subversively funny, with topics from Whitney Houston’s drug issues, to parasitic infections, obsessive-compulsive disorder and Cher. On the surface the Kinsey Sicks perform a slick comedic show, but when you finally catch your breath from laughing, you realize there are some really serious issues tucked into their parodies. One of my favorite Kinsey gems is their version of “Christmas Time in the City” entitled “Crystal Time,” which talks about methamphetamine use (here is some not so subliminal product placement, kittens. Go to their website kinseysicks.com and buy any of their CDs). OK, meth addiction is not exactly what you would call funny, but their parody absolutely nails it. You are laughing so hard you don’t realize until later that you have just absorbed a three minute Public Service Announcement. It’s brilliant, and how many drag groups can say they do a number about urban gentrification, or conditional corporate sponsorships? There is some serious thinking behind these “effortless” ditties, which is not surprising given these girls’ education and professional careers. One is a Harvard-trained lawyer, one a University of Chicago-trained lawyer, and their political credentials rule!

I would love to sit down and coffee klatsch with these girls, because you just know since their inception in the early nineties and after years of touring, they have seen a lot of really, REALLY interesting crap go down! Being of that certain age (they’re still probably younger than I am), they have seen first hand the seismic shifts in public attitudes towards gays and lesbians, the impacts of the AIDS epidemic, gay civil unions and marriages, the meth crisis and so on. So while their albums, concerts and DVDs are truly entertaining, I bet the real stories surrounding the Kinseys would blow our minds. Enjoy their show, petals!

For an evening of politically incorrect entertainment, questionable glamour and raucous opinion, join Ruby Ridge as she hosts Third Friday Bingo (on the third Friday of each month at 7:00 p.m. at the First Baptist Church in Salt Lake City (777 South 1300 East). Oh, and wear sensible shoes! (Don’t even ask why.)

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