Ruby Ridge

The Vagina Idealogues

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OK, muffins, I am not such a complete bastard that I won’t give credit where credit is due. Representative Carl Wimmer, despite being a hardcore rightwing ideologue, did a very cool thing at the Capitol last month by removing the America Forever activists who were insulting Representative Christine Johnson. It starts to restore my shaken faith in Utah politics and civil behavior, so kudos to him. It also doesn’t hurt that he looks just like a University of Wyoming lineman I dated way back in the day, but I digress …  

QSaltLake exposed the ragtag “America Forever” protesters as failed immigration activists who found that being anti-gay was far more profitable. Despite their grandiose name they are essentially a handful of people with an incoherent Web site (don’t even get me started about their abysmal newspaper ads), who seem to crave media attention like the freaks that surrounded the O.J. Simpson trials. The more I think about this tacky “group” of protesters, the less I understand their logic. Because technically Christine Johnson isn’t wasting vaginas, but Scott McCoy sure as hell does! Why didn’t they go after him?

Out of curiosity, I took a peek at the America Forever Web site. It was pretty appalling in that “we talk directly to God and speak for him, but we can’t figure out how to use spell check” kind of way. Seriously, petals, their rambling manifestos would bore Ted Kaczynski to death. But just like the couple running the Standard of Liberty Web site, they know how to inflate their importance to make it sound like they represent hundreds of thousands of people. Maybe there’s a lesson there for us?

I find it interesting that the America Forever crew quote a 20-year-old rant from ultraconservative Representative William Dannemeyer of California. What makes that so intriguing, cherubs? Well A) It’s so discredited and outdated it’s laughable, and B) Paul Mero of the Sutherland Institute was Dannemeyer’s Press Secretary (and also super-antigay Orange County Representative Robert Dornan’s Chief of Staff).

These guys were so far right of the far right fringe that it’s scary these groups even bring up their memory.
Many of you are too young to remember California’s LaRouche Initiative (Prop 64), which wanted AIDS declared a communicable disease so that everyone with AIDS could be rounded up and put on a prison island. Well, Dannemeyer and company were the guys who actually supported it. LaRouche later went to jail for fraud, but trust me, kittens. At the time, Prop 64 made today’s Prop 8 push look trivial. In fact, my very own Mr. Ridge was arrested for ripping up LaRouche petitions outside a supermarket in LA. He went to court fully prepared to go to jail, but ended up doing 100 hours of community service visiting AIDS patients at LA County Hospital.

What can I say? He was young, impulsive and had no priors, and I couldn’t be more proud.

But back to present day. I have to wonder how many phony conservative fronts like America Forever and Standard of Liberty are out there? These groups comprise a tiny number of people, yet they get all sorts of media exposure with their inflammatory talk radio rhetoric and made-for -V stunts. But what I really want to know, pumpkins, is how many of them are just shills for the more extreme agendas of the John Birch Society and the Sutherland Institute? Enquiring minds want to know!

Ciao for now, babies!

You can see Ruby Ridge live and in person at 3rd Friday Bingo (every Third Friday of the Month at 7:00 p.m.) at First Baptist Church (777 S 1300 E in Salt Lake City). You may worship her by bringing offerings of incense and zero trans-fat snack foods

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