Over Labor Day weekend I once again went camping with a horde of lesbians and only one other guy, who was sexting every Weber County fag within a one-mile radius of us. It was sick … and kind of hot. Anyhoo, camping with lesbians is like camping with Julia Child — there’s more delicious food to be had than at a French wedding. Plus, a lesbian can build a bonfire in less time than fags can sext each other.
18FRIDAY — I can’t believe classic symphony is getting into the circus act — elephants standing on beach balls and playing trumpets, fire-eating bearded ladies on the triangle … it’s all too surreal. Anyhoo, Utah Symphony presents Cirque de la Symphonie. You’ll be delighted as aerialists (monkeys) fly overhead, and acrobatic feats are performed to classical masterpieces and memorable contemporary music.
8pm, through Saturday, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple. Tickets$27–58, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.
In conjunction with Beauties and Beasties — an art exhibit featuring local artists Julie Lucus and Heather Wunderlich — is a Deconstructress Designs Fashion Show. With Halloween just around the corner, this fashion show can help you choose the perfect costume couture — like the Corpse Bride or Steampunk Fairy or Gothic Ballerina.
6–9pm, Utah Arts Alliance Gallery, 127 S. Main St. Free, the art exhibit runs through Oct. 3, 801-651-3937 or utaharts.org.
Time to dust off your Hannah Montana lunchbox, clean out your man purse, forget to buy a highlighter (so you can use the hot boy’s sitting next to you) and hit Third Friday Bingo. This month’s theme is “Back to School,” and proceeds go to the UofU’s Gay and Lesbian Resource Center. But be good or Ruby will pull out her wooden paddle — her husband Dick loves it!
7pm, First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East. Bingo cards $5/first–$3/addtl, utahpridecenter.org.
19SATURDAY — Lambda Hiking Club’s season is winding down, so this is your chance to lose those extra pounds before hibernation sets. One of their most difficult hikes is a 5,000-foot incline along Lone Peak Cirque, a granite steep-wall route that features great views of the Utah Valley and the Lone Peak wilderness. Be prepared for changing weather conditions, and take plenty of water.
6:30am, group will meet at Albertson’s, 1212 Draper Pkwy, Draper. Free, 801-485-5654 or gayhike.org.
One of the biggest events of the year is sWerve’s annual and infamous Oktoberfest. This year’s crazy-ass party is held at Chase Mill. Swill steins of German beer, devour traditional Bavarian cuisine like bratwurst and sauerkraut, and dance the Polka with some of the most entertaining lesbians from the land of Sandy, Utah.
7pm, Chase Mill at Tracy Aviary, 589 E. 1300 South. Suggested donation $10, swerveutah.com.
Everybody can take a breath now, Gene Gieber’s made it through to another birthday … whew! Join him in celebration, along with cute boy Akeem, at Club Try-Angles’ infamous Underwear Party. Word of advice though: Don’t get Gene underwear for his birthday, they rarely last more than a week. However, he does need more T-shirts advertising unsavory sexual innuendos.
20SUNDAY — Eric Samuelsen wrote a play about coming out, but “not in the usual sense.” In Borderlands, the one gay character is already out. The play is actually about all the other ways Mormons come out: admitting they don’t necessarily believe what they’re supposed to believe, or they don’t always find it possible to live the way they’re expected to live. Learn more about it at this reading during the Affirmation Conference.
2pm, Post Theatre, 245 S. Fort Douglas Blvd., UofU. Tickets $15, benefitting Affirmation, 801-297-4200 ext. 1 or [email protected]
21MONDAY — Currently 43 percent of Utah’s homeless youth are self identified as LGBT individuals. In Utah there is no shelter specifically for homeless youth. The Homeless Youth Resource Center is the only organization providing services specifically and exclusively to this population. Tonight, the Foundation for Reconciliation/LDSapology.org sponsors Home at Last, an interfaith benefit concert for this center. Please support this important cause.
7pm, Holladay United Church of Christ, 2631 E. Murray-Holladay Rd. Tickets $6–12, ldsapology.org.
24THURSDAY — Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company opens their season with Equilibrium. In the spirit of television dance competitions, you’ll have the chance to vote for your favorite local choreographer; Karole “Punk Ballerina” Armitage, a New York choreographer nominated for a 2009 Tony award, will present her latest world premiere; works by Carolyn Carlson and Charlotte Boye-Christensen.
7:30pm, through Saturday, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $30, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.
25FRIDAY — Pioneer Theatre Company opens the 2009-10 season with a production of the nine-time Tony award-winning musical A Chorus Line. Seventeen Broadway dancers auditioning for spots on a chorus line don legwarmers and perfect their combinations for a chance at stardom. The audition takes a personal turn as they are asked to reveal their individual stories — ranging from funny to wrenching.
7:30pm, through Oct. 10, Pioneer Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU. Tickets $30–49, 801-581-6961 or pioneertheatre.org.
26SATURDAY — Since her son’s death, Judy Shepard has become the beloved face of LGBTQ rights. In her book The Meaning of Matthew, Shepard confides in readers about how she handled the crippling loss of her child in the public eye and specifically of learning to distinguish between her son as the person and the symbol, why she became a gay rights activist, and the challenges and rewards of raising a gay child in the United States today.
7–9pm, Salt Lake Main Library, 210 E. 400 South. Free, 801-359-8800 or utahpridecenter.org.
Sexy frontman Brandon Flowers takes the stage with the rest of The Killers tonight. The Grammy-nominated alternative rock/post-punk four-man band is sure to kill. No pun intended … oh, pshaw! Here’s a wikipedia fact: Initially, The Killers played at small clubs in Las Vegas, Nev., where they often played at drag shows. How cute is that?
7:30pm, E Center, 3200 S. Decker Lake Dr. Tickets $31.50–37.50, 800-745-3000 or ticketmaster.com.
OCT. 24 David Sedaris, Capitol Theatre
NOV. 3 Five for Fighting, State Room
NOV. 20 Elton John & Billy Joel, ESA
NOV. 21 Kathy Griffin, Abravanel Hall