Time for Understanding

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For over 15 years, I was married to the love of my life.  I was unaware that he was gay.  When we divorced, the process was more excruciatingly painful than the awful kitchen fire that disfigured me for life.  We had four children and had been best friends.  He was trying desperately to honor his temple covenants (we had been sealed in the temple) and be a good husband to me.  We spent no less than 90% of our married life in counseling.  All the time, I would hear that there was no problem in the marriage and that I was essentially ungrateful.  He was, after all, honoring his priesthood.

I watch with interest the events continue to unfold vis-a-vis the LDS Church in Utah and the gay movement.  With all due respect to Elder Hafen, being gay is in a person’s DNA – one is born as gay as one is born straight.  Perhaps someone would like to suggest that the brethren watch the movie: “For the bible tells me so” in order to become enlightened on this subject.

Prior to the threatened lawsuit by the ACLU in 1978, my people – blacks – were not “good enough” for full fellowship in the LDS Church.  Indeed, then President Kimball indicated that the revelation he ultimately received could have been received earlier had the brethren thought to pray about it.

It is time to stop pontificating and judging and start understanding the issue.  I implore the brethren with their massive worldwide audiences of over 11 million LDS faithful, to start praying on this divisive position that the church continues to take.

I spent untold hours counseling with men and women in Utah who were in various stages of coming out to loved ones, wives and families and fully understand why the suicide rate of men between 15-19 years of age is the # 1 killer in Utah.

This has to end and the LDS Church has the power to do it – the question is – does it also have the political will?

Respectfully submitted,

Annette James Daley
Hartsdale, N.Y.

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