Ruby Ridge

Go Mo’s!

Brace yourselves Kittens, I’m about to do something rash. I, of all people, am going to give credit and recognition to the Mormon church. I know, I know. I’m as surprised as you are! But, here’s the deal cupcakes … I’m actually quite proud of the church for recognizing their environmental impact and taking positive steps to minimize their heavy ecological footprint with brand-new, green building designs for their wards. The church deserves some serious kudos (Ruby cautiously looks to the skies and waits to be struck down by gay lightning, or at least by a brick with Troy Williams cologne on it…).

Now, I know that in the past I have written numerous columns and thousands of semi-inflammatory words about the church and its political machinations, but in the spirit of neighborliness and not being a complete bastard, I really do have to cheer them on when they actually do something right.

For those of you who missed their press conference and the subsequent media coverage, the church has invested in some energy-efficient, Earth-friendly designs and are testing them for use in their 17,000 wards and stake centers (details and pics are still archived at the Deseret News web site). The new prototypes feature tankless water heaters, motion-detecting lights, super-efficient insulation and photovoltaic solar panels incorporated into the roofline, and a host of other nifty energy- and water-saving technologies.

But, here’s where I get excited beyond just the physical structures. The ward members who attend services and activities in these hyper-efficient buildings will get a first-hand, real-world look at the technologies and their cost savings, and hopefully, they will adopt some these strategies at home. By the church building these prototypes, they have given a green light (no pun intended) of approval to the principle that waste sucks, and conservation is a good, worthwhile, if not downright godly in a “we are the stewards of Earth, so don’t mess it up” kind of way. And, no one needs to hear and see that message more than the Mormon troglodytes serving in the state Legislature who have such an ideological knee-jerk reaction to any type of conservationism.

It kills me that these free-market lawmakers can back nuclear technology with all of its costs, water consumption and inherent risks without batting an eye, yet if someone so much as suggests changing the efficiency of a light bulb or the fuel standards on a truck, they go completely apoplectic (P.S. Just so you know … I have no problem with nuclear power. It’s just that I don’t trust the people pushing it and their motivations).

Now, inevitably, some of you will kvetch “but Ruby, the Mormons are just an evil corporation and they are only doing it to save money” and to that I say … “so what?”  I don’t care what their motivation is, and minimizing waste is something we should all be practicing. I’ll be perfectly honest Cherubs I have always admired the church and their frontier sense of pragmatic frugality, and their healthy focus on self sufficiency. I just cringe at their politics that’s all!

Now, given the Mormon heritage of self reliance, I’m really surprised that the church hasn’t pursued large-scale renewable energy development to power their energy needs (or with net metering, at least sell surplus energy back into the national power grid). God knows they have the capital they would need just sitting in their petty-cash bank accounts, and they have land assets all over creation, so I have to ask: “Where is the Deseret Wind Farm or the Deseret Solar Farm?”

Apart from the long-term savings, a church-sponsored project like that would be so worth it, just to see the looks on Aaron Tilton and the corporate honchos at Energy Solution’s faces.

Ciao for now, Babies.

You can see Ruby Ridge and the Matrons of Mayhem in all of their polyester glory at Third Friday Bingo (every Third Friday of the month at 7pm) at First Baptist Church (777 South 1300 East).

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