ColumnistsRuby Ridge

Go Mos!

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Brace yourselves, kittens, because I’m about to do something rash. I of all people am going to give credit and recognition to the LDS Church.

I know, I know, I am as surprised as you are! But here’s the deal, cupcakes: I am actually quite proud of the LDS Church for recognizing their environmental impact and taking positive steps to minimize their heavy ecological footprint with brand new green building designs for their ward houses. The Mormon Church deserves some serious kudos (Ruby now cautiously looks to the skies and waits to be struck down by gay lightning, or at least by a brick with Troy Williams cologne on it.).

Now, I know I have written numerous columns and thousands of semi-inflammatory words about the LDS Church and its political machinations. But in the spirit of neighborliness and not being a complete bastard, I really do have to cheer them on when they actually do something right.

For those of you who missed their press conference and the subsequent media coverage, the LDS Church has invested in some new energy efficient, earth-friendly designs. They are now testing them for use in their 17,000 wards and stake centers (details and pictures are still archived in the Deseret News website). The new prototypes feature tankless water heaters, motion detecting lights, super efficient insulation, photovoltaic solar panels incorporated into the roofline, and a host of other nifty energy and water saving technologies.

But here’s where I get excited beyond just the physical structures. The ward members who attend services and activities in these hyper efficient buildings will get a first hand, real world look at the new technologies and how they help save money. Hopefully, they will then adopt some these strategies at home. The LDS Church’s investment in these prototypes has given a green light (no pun intended) of approval to the principle that waste sucks, and conservation is a good and worthwhile, if not downright Godly in a “we are the stewards of the earth so don’t mess it up” kind of way. And no one needs to hear and see that message more than the LDS troglodytes serving in the Utah State Legislature who have such an ideological knee jerk reaction to any type of conservationism.

It kills me that these free market lawmakers can back nuclear technology with all of its costs, water consumption and inherent risks without batting an eye, yet if someone so much as suggests changing the efficiency of a light bulb or the fuel standards on a truck, they go completely apoplectic. P.S. Just so you know, I have no problem with nuclear power. It’s just that I don’t trust the people pushing it and their motivations.

Now, inevitably some of you will kvetch, “but Ruby, the LDS Church is just an evil corporation and they are only doing this to save money.” And to that I say, “so what?”  I don’t care what their motivation is, and minimizing waste is something we should all be practicing.

I’ll be perfectly honest, cherubs. I have always admired the LDS Church and its frontier sense of pragmatic frugality, and their healthy focus on self0sufficiency. I just cringe at their politics, that’s all!

Now, given its heritage of self-reliance, I am really surprised that the LDS Church hasn’t pursued large scale renewable energy development to power its energy needs (or with net metering, at least sell surplus energy back into the national power grid). God knows they have the capital they would need just sitting in their petty cash bank accounts, and they have land assets all over creation, so I have to ask, Where is the Deseret Wind Farm or the Deseret Solar Farm?”

Apart from the long term savings, an LDS Church-sponsored project like that would be so worth it, just to see the looks on Aaron Tilton’s and the corporate honchos at Energy Solutions’ faces.

Ciao for now, babies.

You can see Ruby Ridge and the Matrons of Mayhem in all of their polyester glory at Third Friday Bingo (every Third Friday of the month at 7 p.m.) at First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East.

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