It was another successful Q Lagoon Day, even more so than last year: more people overall, more people in red and more chances to actually get on a ride before dying from sunstroke. The most fiercely painful thing of the day was when one lesbian flashed her knockers at us — twice — while on Rattlesnake Rapids; the funniest thing of the day was the pan of “special” brownies; and the best thing of the day was when Michael Aaron won me a cute little purple monkey on the Whack-A-Mole game (I’ve named her Ms. Ross and I’ve slept with her every night since).
19thursday — When I first heard that Utah Contemporary Theatre was producing a play called Donna Orbits the Moon, my initial thought was about my friend Donna because … well, she’s always orbiting the moon. I mean extra cuckoo, here! Tehehe! I should be careful, she’s got a fierce right-hook that could knock me into orbit. Anyhoo, Donna’s life seems perfect (not my Donna’s — hers is a tragic mess!)) until gravity stops working for her the way it used to. It takes a string of vehicular mishaps and an attempted assault with a deadly Bible to bring her back to Earth. (The Bible-thing works on my Donna too.)
8pm, Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Free, 801-886-3019 or utahcontemporarytheatre.org.
20friday — It’s Christmas in August you bunch of hot and sparkling tree ornaments. So put on your snow boots, parkas and turtleneck undies for the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire’s annual PWA Kick-off Weekend. Filling their People with AIDS Christmas Fund is mighty important for this year’s gay yuletide. Enjoy tonight’s opening event, Cruel Summer, at Paper Moon; Saturday, partake in a fabulous Carnivale and Drag Queen Mud Wrestling; Sunday, finish off this sweltering Christmas in August with a lovely Luau on The Trapp’s patio. Now, you may end up dehydrated, overheated, muddy and broke, but isn’t it worth it?
Times vary, each event is $5 at the door. For more information, visit rcgse.org.
As a dawning of the Golf Classic 2010 on Sunday — you know all gays and lesbians need at least a full 24 hours between partying and doing anything active — the Utah Pride Center presents this Party on the Patio, a social event before the golf tournament. But you don’t have to golf in the tournament (or be a golfer at all) to attend this fabulous party. Enjoy food, cash bar, music by the outstanding DJ TiDY, urban landscapes and opportunities to win some fierce prizes. Fierce Argyle clothing is also encouraged.
7–10pm, Circle Lounge, 328 S. State St. Cost $10 at the door, utahpridecenter.org.
21saturday — Hey Gene, it’s that time of month again to change your underwear … they’re getting kind of fierce! Join Mr. Naté at Club Try-Angles’ monthly Underwear Night. You don’t necessarily have to dance, drink, play pool and stand on the patio smoking in only your skivvies, but Ms. Ross likes it more if you do … and we’re all here on earth to please Ms. Ross!
9pm, Club Try-Angles, 251 W. 900 South. For more info, 801-364-3203.
22sunday — Have you slept off your fierce hangover from Friday’s Party on the Patio … or from anywhere else for that matter? It’s time to pull out the big clubs for the Golf Classic 2010, the annual Utah Pride Center golf tournament. The day includes breakfast and lunch, 18 holes of golf and prizes. It has become one of the most acclaimed LGBTQ events of the year in Utah. Sponsors and players alike join forces to raise funds for the Center’s vital and life-saving programs and services. Go get ’em Tigers!
6:30am Breakfast & 8am shotgun start, Stonebridge Golf Club, 4415 W. Links Dr. Registration $125, utahpridecenter.org.
SimplySocial is a group of gay men dedicated to building a vibrant community through friendship. They meet together regularly on Wednesdays for food and good times. But today, they’re hosting a Gay Day at Raging Waters. Chill in the Wave Pool or on the Lazy River just slyly checking out the hottie lifeguards, or go a bit more fierce with wedgie after wedgie on the serpentine slides. Either way you’ll get a thrill out of it.
Noon, Raging Waters, 1200 W. 1700 South. Tickets $18.95, for more information about SimplySocial, visit them on Facebook.
25wednesday — In a beautifully wrought account of the awakening of one of the 20th century’s most romanticized revolutionaries, The Motorcycle Diaries recounts the odyssey undertaken by a young “Che” Guevara and his friend Granado in 1952, when Guevara was a 23-year-old medical student. This Spanish biopic stars the wonderful Gael García Bernal (Y tu mamá también and Bad Education).
9pm, Red Butte Garden Amphitheatre, 300 Wakara Way. Free, redbuttegarden.org.
26thursday — If you don’t know what Steel Magnolias is, then your card should be revoked, or at the very least you should be put in a small, air-less room with Ouiser Boudreaux for an hour … the old hag is as fierce as Lindsay Lohan on crack. Anyhoo, this production of the play by Robert Harling will have you laughing and crying along with a fabulous group of witty, smart-mouthed women from The South.
7:30pm, through Sept. 11, Midvale Performing Arts Center, 695 W. 7720 South. Tickets $12–15, 801-674-7956 or pinnacleactingcompany.org.
Join the hundreds of fans who make Momentum one of the most anticipated dance performances in Salt Lake City. In its 4th year, Momentum 2010 brings the unique opportunity to witness the creativity, physicality, sophistication and maturity of some of Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company Alumni’s most promising artists. The choreographers include Juan Carlos Claudio, Jill Voorhees Edwards, Karen Fenn, Jillian Harris, Caine Keenan, Stevan Novakovich and Jill Patterson.
8pm, through Saturday, Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $15, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.
Sugar Space presents Black/Light, a new work by the Allen Gardner Dance Theatre, a dance company encompassing all forms of movement with an emphasis in Butoh, which typically involves playful and grotesque imagery, taboo topics, extreme or absurd environments — sounds like a date with Michael Aaron. The performance is a study in contrast, conflict and opposites; takes us back and forth across the boundaries of life and art, of dance and stillness, chaos and order, sanity and madness, reality and illusion.
8pm, through Saturday, Sugar Space, 616 Wilmington Ave. Tickets $10/adv.–$12/day of show, 888-300-7898 or thesugarspace.com.
SEP 25 Wanda Sykes, Wendover, Nev.
OCT 16 Spencer Day, Rose Wagner
NOV 26-29 The Rockettes, Maverick Ctr
APR 11 Lily Tomlin, Kingsbury Hall