Gay Agenda

It’s Sheer-Luck that Urine the True West

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A few teammates and I went to Piper Down last Sunday for a Bloody Mary brunch immediately following our spanking
on the softball field. Little did we know that additional spanking would be going on. Two young, Mimosa-soaked Asian girls were channeling Ma from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. I haven’t had that much boobage in my face since I was 4 … I was weaned slowly and delicately … sort of like Ma’s ping-pong balls. Good times, good times!

28thursday — Eve Ensler (The Vagina Monologues) tackles body image in the three-woman play, The Good Body. In this humorous, but penetrating glimpse at the way Americans view their bodies, Eve Ensler captures the torment many women experience because of a perceived imperfection. Oooo, they should cast my friend “Pony Keg.” Hey, she nicknamed herself, don’t shoot the messenger! Besides her wife taps that every night. Oh lord!
7:30pm, through May 14, Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $20, 801-355-ARTS or

You wanna show off the biggest muscle in your body? No, not you RJ Berger! Work your heart, as well as your mind, at the Utah AIDS Foundation’s Quiz for a Cause. Teams battle for the title of highest collective IQ. Damn, I guess that leaves Team QSaltLake out … tehehe! The quiz consists of eight rounds of eight questions each, played by teams of up to six geniuses. Half of the proceeds go to the winning team and half to the foundation.
8–9:30pm, Lumpy’s, 145 Pierpont Ave. Suggested donation of $5 at the door,

Desert Star Playhouse is taking on Sherlock Holmes, the astute, logical and disguise-savvy London detective, in their production of Sheer-Luck Holmes: Clueless Again. I have a feeling it’s going to be more like The Pink Panther. Holmes, and his “partner” Watson, must travel to the pyramids of Egypt to solve “The Case of the Man with the Abnormally Large Head” … wait, that could be my friend Jake! The adorable Justin Berry as Holmes is a sure hit.
Hours vary, through June 11, Desert Star Playhouse, 4861 S. State St. Tickets $9.95–17.95, 801-266-2600 or

29friday — As some of you may know I’m a Dancing Queen after a few Jager Bombs, and by the end of the night I’m singing Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (A Man After Midnight), but Mamma Mia, when I wake up in the mornings I find Me and Bobby and Bobby’s Brother in my bed. Maybe I should cut back on Jager Bombs. Anyhoo, the Utah Symphony and conductor Jerry Steichen present ABBA: The Concert. The evening should be Super Trouper!
8pm, through Saturday, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple. Tickets $30–85, 801-355-ARTS or

Performed by the University of Utah Lyric Opera Ensemble and the Utah Philharmonia, The Coronation of Poppea is a love story, of sorts, based on the notoriously debauched Roman court of Nero. With beautiful melodies and interesting textures, Poppea is the earliest opera to remain in the standard repertoire — it is “ageless, beautiful, tantalizing and timely.”
7:30pm, through Saturday, Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Cir., UofU. Tickets $10–20, 801-581-7100 or

Pioneer Theatre Company presents Sunset Boulevard, the stage musical based on the classic 1950 film of the same title. Norma Desmond is a faded film star — much like Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba and Jessica Simpson (unless Porky’s films were still being made) — whose luck may turn around when she meets a young, hard-up screenwriter — much like Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell (not one of them could even write a decent hot dog-on-a-stick recipe). Norma and Joe, the screenwriter, team up on a new script and their relationship eventually turns sexual, but with dire consequences.
7:30pm, through May 14, Pioneer Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East., UofU. Tickets $34–54, 801-581-6961 or

30saturday — Books can move you to the bone; books are better than talking on the phone; but books are best while on the throne. Ha! I’m a poet and didn’t even know it. To give credit where due, my friend BJ inspired it. Anyhoo, join the Salt Lake City Main Library for their annual Spring Used Book Sale. I’m sure you’ll find some real gems at low, low prices.
Hours vary, through May 3, Main Library, 210 E. 400 South. For more info, visit

5thursday — Wasatch Theatre Company presents a production of the Tony-nominated play True West by actor/playwright Sam Shepard (Steel Magnolias). The story unfolds when two estranged brothers reunite after several years. Austin is a playwright, his older brother Lee is a drifter and thief. When Lee arrives home unexpectedly, he weasels his way into Austin’s career. A dark and haunting depiction of sibling rivalry and family dynamics.
8pm, through May 22, Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $15, 801-355-ARTS or

7saturday — Now in its eighth season the Live Green SLC! ­Festival showcases a full spectrum of sustainable green products, services and ideas from cutting edge renewable technologies to everyday solutions that can be implemented in the home. At this outdoor event, attendees will enjoy features such as interactive and educational exhibits, local and organic foods and goods, live auctions, children’s area, eco-carnival games, music, entertainment and more.
10am–6pm, Main Library Plaza, 210 E. 400 South. Free,

9monday — In the 2009 musical-comedy film Fruit Fly, Bethesda, a Filipina performance artist finds home in the unlikeliest places. She moves into an artist commune in an attempt to workshop her latest piece which deals with finding her biological parents. In the process, she finds an artistic family, clues of her mother’s whereabouts, and the startling possibility that she just might be a fag-hag.
7pm, Tower Theatre, 831 E. 900 South. Free, 801-359-5158 or

11wednesday — Don’t let the name fool you because Urineutah, which sure as hell ain’t a musical, or a tale, in a time when Mormonism is weighed down in discrimination and judgment. But the satirical Tony-nominated musical, Urinetown is a hilarious tale of greed, corruption, love and revolution in a time when water is worth its weight in gold.
7:30pm, through May 28, Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State St. Tickets $8–24, 801-957-3322 or

upcoming events
JUN 19
Ani DiFranco
Red Butte Garden
JUN 24
Sheryl Crow
Red Butte Garden
JUL 16
Lisa Lampanelli
JUL 25
Katy Perry
AUG 13
Josh Grobin

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