Ruby Ridge: I’m not that gay
First up, kittens, I have to toss out a gigantic mea culpa. I totally missed Pride this year. But I do have really good excuses: As I get older, I’m just not “that” gay anymore, and between the wet weather and a seized up transmission on my rototiller, I had a serious backlog of gardening to take care of (yes, I actually am that unglamorous and spectacularly dull in real life!) I heard super things that the weather and attendance were great, so congrats to all of the hard working volunteers and organizers involved in such a huge project. Rest assured I will try to be gayer and prouder next year (weather permitting).
Anyway, petals, do you ever get assumptions and comments about “the gays” from straight people that bear absolutely no resemblance to you, your relationship, or your daily life? Lately I have been noticing these over- generalizations and stereotypes all over the place especially in the Deseret News and Salt Lake Tribune‘s readers’ comments about Pride. They have become really nasty during the latest Prop 8 court case (the unbelievably ignorant one to vacate Judge Vaughn Walker’s ruling to strike down Prop 8 because … well you know … because he’s gay!). According to the Prop 8 supporters Walker should not have been allowed to sit over the case because he had a vested interest in the outcome. All I can say to that, my cherubs, is wow! What angry, spiteful little campers. Their hatred is so thinly veiled that they would dismiss an entire career of legal achievement and judicial appointments just because of a judge’s sexual orientation. That tells you how disposable and worthless they really believe gay people are. Thankfully Judge James Ware tossed it out quickly before it could stink up his courtroom. Not surprisingly, the religious outrage industry was appalled! You know “activist judges”… yada, yada, yada.
And why is it, pumpkins, that religious folks are obsessed with the sexual component of gay relationships? Yes, it’s an important part of the picture but there is soooo much more to it. Before he passed away, Mr. Ridge and I were together for 21 years (without a socially acceptable marriage license and all of the legal protections that come with it) and do you know what I remember most about our relationship, muffins? No it wasn’t the innovative, acrobatic, gravity defying sex, it was the little things like helping him with his dress shirt buttons before we went to church, or sitting in the parking lot of our local Dairy Queen on a hot day eating strawberry sundaes, not really saying anything, but just enjoying the moment. Those are the memories that I treasure, but apparently those personal little moments, when accompanied with a marriage certificate will lead to the demise of civilization, the destruction of organized religion and millions of children suffering from not having a contractually obligated mother and a father. Oh noes! The religious folks obsessing about ass-less chaps and go-go boys, have no concept of what regular gay people and gay relationships actually look like, and that, cherubs, is their Achilles heel.
I believe the more people that are exposed to ordinary gays and lesbians who are just living out their relatively ordinary lives the better. Once they get to know how suburban and mainstream our relationships really are, then the exaggerated gay caricature that the religious right has painted us as becomes laughable, and their intolerant demands look like the bile filled hatred that it is. So go ahead wear a celebratory dress and wig for the gay pride parade if you want, but for the other 364 days of the year, be your own pride parade of one, just by being yourself!
You can see Ruby Ridge and the Matrons of Mayhem in all of their polyester glory at Third Friday Bingo (every Third Friday of the month at 7pm) at First Baptist Church (777 South 1300 E.).