Recently I was jumping on my bed after passionate mid-morning love-making (yes, with someone else) when a spring popped through the mattress. Needless to say it was time to go mattress shopping. I went to Deseret Industries, Dollar Tree, KSL.com, Dog Show Grooming, all to no avail. I would have tried Walmart but I wasn’t dressed appropriately. It wasn’t until after a week of love-making on the bedroom floor that I realized there is an IKEA in Utah … I’m such a shameful fag.
18thursday — From what I’ve read, it appears Pocatello Pride is making a grand comeback. If memory serves, a celebration hasn’t been forgone in the last 10 years, but has sometimes dwindled in size and planning. This year the festival has scheduled a skating party and masquerade ball before the opening of the festival. Plus, transsexual rapper Katastrophe, the Grand Marshal, headlines the entertainment lineup which includes local drag troupe Charley’s Angels.
Times vary, through Saturday, venues vary, Pocatello, Idaho. Tickets $5–20, pocatellopride.com.
19friday — Ruby Ridge and her Mattress of Mayhem (actually it’s Matrons of Mayhem … it’s like I have a tick when it comes to Ruby) are back for their Third Friday Bingo extravaganza. This month’s proceeds benefit the Special Needs Foundation … which really means Ruby. Get your Bingo on for some fabulous prizes.
7–9:30pm, First Baptist Churh, 777 S. 1300 East. Bingo cards $5, tinyurl.com/mattressbingo.
20saturday — Grammy award-winning folk-goddess Melissa Etheridge will rock Deer Valley tonight, and the lesbians will be out in droves. I hear there’s a Monster Mud Truck Contest or some damn thing earlier in the day. Anyhoo, spanning a 20-year career and 10 albums, the 50-year-old lesbian musician has become an icon in the LGBT community. Really, her music just plain kicks butt.
7pm, Deer Valley Amphitheater, 2270 Deer Valley Drive East. Tickets $40, 435-655-3114 or ecclescenter.org.
Frontwoman, Jennifer Nettles, of the up-and-coming country rock band Sugarland recently said that if asked “what are your musical tastes?”, she would respond “that of a gay man.” What a diva! From original songs like “Stay” and “All I Want to Do” to covers like “Love Shack” and “Stayin’ Alive,” the duo is stealing the gay heart of America. Sara Bareilles opens.
7:30pm, USANA Amphitheatre, 5150 S. 6055 West. Tickets $25–54, 801-467-8499 or smithstix.com.
24wednesday — As part of Plan-B Theatre Company’s renowned Script-in-Hands Series, and in partnership with the Civil Liberties Union of Utah, comes a free staged reading of Henrik Ibsen’s A Doll House, in a new translation by Eric Samuelsen. The play, considered the first truly feminist play, examines gender roles, social constraints and the power of secrets.
4pm, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets are free, must RSVP, planbtheatre.org.
25thursday — Join hundreds of fans who make Momentum one of the most anticipated dance performances in Salt Lake City. In its fifth year, Momentum 2011 brings a unique opportunity to witness the creativity, physicality, sophistication and maturity of some of Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company Alumni’s most promising artists. The choreographers include Juan Carlos Claudio, Jill Voorhees Edwards, Elizabeth Stich and Liberty Valentine.
8pm, through Saturday, Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $15, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.
This Grand Theatre production, Always…Patsy Cline, is as legendary as the woman herself. Cline was one of the most influential, successful and acclaimed female vocalists of the 20th century, and this heartfelt story of an uncommon bond that rarely occurs between an artist and a fan is what keeps it coming back year after year.
7:30pm, through Sep. 10, Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State St. Tickets $10–24, 801-957-3322 or the-grand.org.
26friday — As a dawning of the Golf Classic 2011 on Sunday — you know all homosexuals need at least a full 24 hours between partying and doing anything active — the Utah Pride Center presents their annual Party on the Patio. There will be a contest for the best … or most hideous argyle outfit. Rodney Dangerfield … may he rest in peace … eat your dried-up old heart out!
7–10pm, Club JAM, 715 N. 300 West. Tickets $10 at the door, utahpridecenter.org.
Salt Lake Acting Company presents the second annual Fearless Fringe Festival. Fringe theatre describes alternative or non-mainstream forms and declarations of art. SLAC, a Utah staple of non-traditional performance art, showcases three works in various stages of production and that have been given the opportunity to see where the pieces of work stand with the assistance of space, simple set pieces, lights, sound and, most importantly, an audience.
Hours vary, through Sunday, Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 W. 500 North. Tickets $12 each show or $24 for all three, 801-363-7522 or saltlakeactingcompany.org.
27saturday — Called a “playful mishmash of art, food and drink,” the Salt Lake Art Center presents Art Nosh, a special evening with local winery Kiler Grove Winegrowers. A winemaker will lead a wine course at which you will taste your way through fruit inspired hors d’oeuvres designed to complement the wine selections. There will also be a curator-led tour of the current exhibition Fallen Fruit.
6:30–8:30pm, Salt Lake Art Center, 20 S. West Temple. Tickets $30–35, 801-328-4201 or slartcenter.org.
28sunday — It’s time to pull out the big clubs for the Golf Classic 2011, the annual Utah Pride Center golf tournament. The day includes breakfast and lunch, prizes and 18 holes of golf. It has become one of the most acclaimed community events of the year. Prizes for the most hole-in-oners … that should be easy for all homos, include camping gear, certificates, mountain bike and more.
6:30am breakfast & 8am shotgun start, Stonebridge Golf Club, 4415 W. Links Drive. Registration $125, utahpridecenter.org.
For a groovy Sunday, which is rare in Utah, check out the SmashBash Music Festival. Local artists, boutiques, food vendors and bands join up to celebrate this daylong event. Bands include Toy Bombs, Red Bennies, Dirty Blonde and many more. Screw family home … whatever!
10am-8pm, Gallivan Center, 301 W. South Temple. Tickets $5/adv.–$8/day of show, smashbashlocalmusicfestival.blogspot.com.