I’d like to take this time to wish you a happy holiday season — particularly in regard to New Year’s Eve. It’s not only the day when you realize the whole year has past you by without any accomplishments … well, except for the new hair growth in your ears and other orifices. Wait a minute … now that I think about it, my resolutions last year, for 2011, were to accomplish french-kissing Barry Manilow and flogging Dennis McCracken into submission … both of which I did accomplish; however, the flogging of Dennis was by far the easiest. Good for me!
22thursday — The Cathedral of the Madeleine Choir performs gay composer Benjamin Britten’s A Ceremony of Carols. Britten, who died in 1976, is a renowned English composer. He composed this performance piece aboard a ship crossing the North Atlantic during World War II. It’s an unusual setting for treble voices and harp, and the “carols” are largely the product of 15th and 16th century writers. The work opens and closes with the choir processing to plainsong, and the carol settings, in between, deal with the traditional stories surrounding the birth of Christ.
12:15pm, Cathedral of the Madeleine, 331 E. South Temple. Free, 801-328-8941 or saltlakecathedral.org.
24saturday — Hundreds of skiers and snowboarders will ride (if they’re gay, it’s more of a swish) down the mountain at Snowbird Ski Resort in a line carrying torches, with a special appearance from Santa Claus rappelling out of the Aerial Tram. The Snowbird Torchlight Parade & Fireworks begins at dusk. The evening will end with a candlelight service.
Dusk, Snowbird Ski Resort, somewhere up Little Cottonwood Canyon where the air is thin and your nipples stand at attention. Free, snowbird.com.
25sunday — First of all, Merry Christmas, joy to the world, may your yuletide be gay and all that other festive … crap. Sorry, I’m really not a Scrooge, I’ve just been in a really bad mood for 20 years — Santa still hasn’t brought me a pair of socks with little pink bows, so I’m ornery. Anyhoo, enjoy the day with your immediate, or extended, family. BTW, Club Try-Angles and The Trapp will be serving their fabulous Christmas feasts, if you’re so inclined … to get food poisoning. Hahaha! I really am a betch!
Club Try-Angles, 2pm, 251 W. 900 South, 801-364-3203. The Trapp, 5pm, 102 S. 600 West, 801-531-8727.
31saturday — As you may have noticed, there are no events between Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve listed in this agenda because I understand “recovery time.” So, in hindsight, it only makes sense that there are no further events listed until the Pride Festival. JK, would I really do that to you? Anyhoo, partake in the festivities at your favorite bar or club this New Year’s Eve as they host fabulous, fun and likely raunchy parties. From JAM to the Paper Moon, ring in the New Year in style and in someone else’s bed.
3tuesday — Set on a tropical island during World War II, South Pacific tells the sweeping romantic story of two couples — U.S. Navy nurse Nellie Forbush and French plantation owner Emile de Becque, and Navy Airman Joe Cable and a young, local native girl Liat — and how their happiness is threatened by the realities of war and by their own prejudices. This Tony Award-winning musical consists of some of the greatest music written by Rodgers and Hammerstein.
Times vary, through Jan. 8, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South. Tickets $32.50–62.50, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.
4wednesday — Beginning tonight, and running every Wednesday through Leap Year, is Ruby Ridge & the Mattress of Mayhem’s Thigh-High Sci-Fi Theater. Join them for campy sci-fi flicks, Dr. Who episodes, raffles and prizes. Tonight’s flick is Young Frankenstein. Closing the nine-week run, from galaxies far, far away (and the planet Rubella — Ruby’s birthplace), is a fabulous Leap Year costume party on Feb. 29.
7–9pm, Wednesdays through Feb. 29, Club Try-Angles, 251 W. 900 South. For more info call 801-364-3203.
6friday — The Utah Symphony presents Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No. 1. With Conrad Tao at the piano and guest conductor Andrey Boreyko, the pieces include “The Enchanted Lake” by Anatoly Liadov, Dmitri Shostakovich’s “Symphony No. 5” and, of course, queer composer Pyotr Tchaikovsky’s “Piano Concerto No. 1”.
8pm, through Saturday, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple. Tickets $17–65, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.
7saturday — Plan-B Theatre Company and Theatre Arts Conservatory present the 5th annual Student Slam — five 10-minute plays are created and rehearsed in 23 hours. The 24th hour, they hit the stage. Local playwrights include Tobin Atkinson, Eric Samuelsen, Beth Bruner and others; directors include Jay Perry, Colleen Baum and Mark Fossen. Plus, 25 student actors, age 12 to 19, will participate — they hail from Judge Memorial, West, Skyline and Olympus (my alma mater) high schools, among others.
8pm, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $12, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.
12thursday — Wasatch Theatre Company is taking on sexual and emotional abuse in their production of Neil LaBute’s In a Dark Dark House. The story takes place in, according to LaBute, “a blue-collar world; a vague Midwestern town you wouldn’t want to stop in if you knew what was going on there.” Two grown brothers reunite and attempt to sort through their dysfunctional history that involves substance, emotional and sexual abuse.
8pm, through Jan. 28, Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $15, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.
Back by popular demand to the Desert Star stage is CSI: Provo, a parody on the several television series and on Utah. An absent-minded professor, who moonlights as a crime scene investigator finds himself wrapped up in the murder of a controversial filmmaker on the day of his wedding. Will his fiancee wait for him or run off with his evil nemesis, a BYU English professor?
Times vary, through Mar. 24, Desert Star Theatres, 4861 S. State St. Tickets $9.95–19.95, 801-266-2600 or desertstar.biz.
13friday — One of the greatest gay icons and most sought-after actresses, Meryl Streep, returns to the silver screen in what is likely yet another Oscar-winning performance. In The Iron Lady, Streep walks in the shoes of England’s first female prime minister. One of the 20th century’s most famous and influential women, Margaret Thatcher came from nowhere to smash through barriers of gender and class to be heard in a male-dominated world. Lesbian director Phyllida Lloyd … well, directs.
Times vary, Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. Broadway. Tickets $6.25–8.75, 801-746-0288 or saltlakefilmsociety.org.
Last week the Utah Symphony was inspired by three renowned classical composers; this week the symphony is inspired by two classic film stars, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. In Dancing and Romancing, Broadway and Hollywood mix it up with a night of song and dance featuring the music of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, Jerome Kern and George Gershwin. Jerry Steichen conducts.
8pm, through Saturday, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple. Tickets $27–85, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.
14saturday — I know some of you may be weary of taking another trip to Wendover on the Big Gay Brokedown Fun Bus, but I’m here to ease your hesitation. Michael and I have been taking classes in auto repair out at the prison … shut up, it’s cheap! We already know how to unlock a car door with a tennis ball and take off all four tires in less than 90 seconds. So don’t be afraid, you’ve got two gay grease-monkeys on your side … and one 300-lb., bald, burly, tattooed dude called Lil Pito — Michael’s his bitch!
11:45am, Club Try-Angles parking lot, 251 W. 900 South. To buy tickets call 801-649-6663 or go to biggayfunbus.com.
MOMIX, a decades-old company of dancer-illusionists returns to Utah with Botanica. The company’s artistic director Moses Pendleton’s creative genius brings a new “earthly and otherworldly” multimedia performance. Using larger-than life props, remarkable grace and athleticism, outrageous costumes, projected imagery and an eclectic score (ranging from Vivaldi to birdsong), Botanica is a whimsical homage to nature that overflows with imagination.
7:30pm, Eccles Center, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City. Tickets $18–65, 435-655-3114 or ecclescenter.org.
17tuesday — The young and fervent band Allstar Weekend is a trio of cute popsters, who gained accolades and popularity with performances on the Disney Channel — I know, but don’t dis ’em yet! Remember the Disney veterans Britney, Justin, Raven and those brothers who each look like a young Janeane Garafalo? Anyhoo, the band’s in town tonight promoting their sophomore release, All the Way. Ooooolala!
6pm, The Grand venue at The Complex, 536 W. 100 South. Tickets $16 adv/$18 day of show, 801-467-8499 or smithstix.com.
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