Gay Agenda

Kings, English

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Finally, Krishna devirginized me on March 24, 2012, at 1:13 p.m., in the Lotus Temple, atop a grassy knoll. That sounds sacreligious, but I’m a nonpracticing atheist, so it’s all good. I traveled a long road to Spanish Fark to have Kool-Aid with Sister Dottie but was rerouted to the small, but elegant temple, which appeared to be guarded by an army of llamas. It was the Holi celebration (Festival of Colors) and the hillside was jam-packed full of rainbow-infused earth-children, spreading love and togetherness. As I roamed the grounds, I sprinkled all the striking, hot dudes with my colorful fairy dust, and bowed on my knees to their godliness. Aaaah!

29thursday — Adapted from Joseph Moncure March’s once-banned poem of the 1920s, The Wild Party tells of one wild evening in the Manhattan apartment shared by lovers Queenie and Burrs, a vaudeville dancer and a vaudeville clown. In a relationship marked by vicious behavior and recklessness, they decide to throw a party to end all parties. Warning: If you are under the age of 21 or live in Clearfield don’t try this at home.
7:30pm, through April 8, Studio 115, Performing Arts Bldg., 240 S. 1500 East, UofU. Tickets $5–15, 801-581-7100 or

What happens when a handsome prince falls in love with his fiancee’s bridesmaid? (Ooo, I hope it’s Melissa McCarthy, she totally packs my lunch.) The answer lies in Desert Star Theatres’ The Princess Bridesmaid, a wacky tale of treachery, bitchiness and murder plots — fabulous fun!
Times vary, through June 9, Desert Star Theatres, 4861 S. State St. Tickets $9.95–19.95, 801-266-2600 or

30friday — The English indie, electropop duo The Ting Tings come to the Utah stage promoting their new album Sounds from Nowheresville, which has been called “glistening with polished pop perfection.” The album, just released in the U.S., is only their second but, as much acclaim as their first received, this ting-ting should be fanciful.
7pm, In The Venue, 615 W. 200 South. Tickets $20.50 adv/$22 day of, 801-467-8499 or

So, Madonna has moved behind the movie camera … maybe because in front it was all too flopish. Anyhoo, her film W.E. (she co-wrote and directed) has garnered mixed reviews. It’s the story of two fragile but determined women — Wally Winthrop and Wallis Simpson — separated by more than six decades. In 1998, lonely New Yorker Wally is obsessed with what she perceives as the ultimate love story: King Edward’s VIII’s abdication of the British throne for the woman he loved, Wallis. But Wally’s research reveals that the couple’s life together was not so perfect.
Opens today, Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. Broadway. Tickets $6.25–8.75,

31saturday — When she was just a Georgia mini-lesbian, rock musician Amy Ray (one-half Indigo Girl) plucked out Partridge Family songs on her guitar, dreaming of becoming David Cassidy … oh lord, it’s because he had feathered hair. The talented artist has released six solo albums in a decade, and she’s bringing it all here with special guest Lindsay Fuller.
9pm, The State Room, 638 S. State St. Tickets $20, 800-501-2885 or ­

On the cusp of April Fool’s Day is Cabaret of Fools, Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company’s annual benefit gala and auction. Cute, right? Ummm, enjoy fabulous food and entertainment including special guest Haywire Outfit. Also, prizes will be awarded to those in attendance with the most foolish, flamboyant and fabulous hats. Lovin’ it!
6:30pm, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $85 adv/$100 day of, 801-297-4236,

1sunday — One of my favorite actresses, Gillian Anderson, is playing Miss Havisham, the creepy, jilted bride-to-be in Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations. In case you didn’t know, Anderson recently admitted to having a long-term relationship with a girl while in high school. Oh please, she was a punker back then, they all had same-sex “relationships.” Anyhoo, check out Gilly in this television adaptation of the great classic.
7pm, and April 8, KUED Masterpiece Theatre, check your provider for channel.

3tuesday — Women’s music legend Alix Dobkin will read from and sign her book My Red Blood, chronicling her rise to fame as the first artist to record an openly lesbian album in 1973 and sharing stories about the New York music scene at the height of the feminist movement.
7pm, King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East. Free, for more info call 801-484-9100 or email [email protected]

5thursday — The UofU’s Department of Modern Dance presents its annual Senior Concert, highlighting the talents and final works of the department’s graduating class. The show, called On Your Mark, is a riveting showcase of choreography, including a piece by guest choreographer Kendra Portier from New York.
7:30pm, through April 12, Marriott Center for Dance, 330 S. 1500 East, UofU. Tickets $7–10, 801-581-7100 or

Weber State University Department of Performing Arts presents Orchesis Dance Theatre’s spring concert, COIL, featuring five inspired pieces with themes covering several areas of ideology … and of the circus! Yaay, dancing monkeys! J/K, this program should be really quite mesmerizing, keeping you bound to your seat.
7:30pm, through Saturday, Allred Theater, Val A. Browning Center, 3848 Harrison Blvd., Ogden. Tickets $8-11, 800-WSU-TIKS or

6friday — The Utah Symphony, with conductor Thierry Fischer, presents Mahler’s Symphony No.4. Special guest Lisa Milne, a gorgeous Scottish soprano, will accompany the symphony in renditions of Joseph Haydn’s “Symphony No.2,” Richard Strauss’ “Four Songs” and Gustav Mahler’s “Symphony No.4.” Yes, this is exciting, but for the love of Lou Diamond Phillips, compose yourself!
8pm, through Saturday, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple. Tickets $17–65, 801-355-ARTS or

7saturday — The dance troupe, Aspen Santa Fe Ballet, blends classical and contemporary dance while consistently exploring edgy, vibrant works that charm and dazzle. Twelve sexy, athletic dancers (including UofU Department of Ballet graduates Sam Chittenden and Katie Dehler) will entertain with “striking precision.”
7:30pm, Eccles Center, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City. Tickets $18–65, 435-655-3114 or

In celebration of National Poetry Month, well-known local poet Jesse Parent will host an evening of slam poetry. No, you don’t go in smashing clay dishes. Anyhoo: There’s a big, burly boy from Somerset; he has a big shiny head and a big shiny jet; he’s Facebook friends with tiny Michael Aaron; but really, like anyone’s comparin’; poetry is certainly Jesse’s niche; but I hope he likes to pitch. Oh, that’s just a dirty limerick. Damn, I’m a sick prick!
6pm, King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East. Free, for more info call 801-484-9100 or email [email protected]

11wednesday — Playwright Kathleen Cahill, on the skirt of her Pulitzer-nominated play Charm, brings the world premiere of Course 86B in the Catalogue to the SLAC stage. 86B is a comedic riff on evolution and time set at a small community college in an arid state where extraordinary artifacts from the ancient past abound — some of them still living.
7:30pm, through May 6, Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 W. 500 North. Tickets $15–38, 801-363-7522 or

Apr. 19
Ingrid Michaelson
In The Venue
Apr. 21
Queer Prom
SLC Library
Jun. 13
Melissa Etheridge
Red Butte Garden Amphitheatre
Jun. 22
kd lang
Peppermill Concert Hall, Wendover
Jul. 2
The B52s
Red Butte Garden Amphitheatre
Jul. 5
Foster The People
Aug. 4-5
“8” The Play (a reading)
Rose Wagner Center

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