Ask Mr. Manners

An ode to beauty

Being the Mr. Manners columnist I am privy to constructing witty columns based in providing life advice and etiquette, but recently I heard something that made me stop and think. I’ll protect the identity of the individual, but the gist of the conversation was the subject of beauty.

To paraphrase, “I have never been told I am beautiful, and I fear I will never have anyone love me.” Contemplating the response, I was struck with two things to say: “It’s what you give that makes you beautiful, and how you live that makes your dreams come true.”

It’s been said, and I’ll agree, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe the crowd you are currently with does not value your beauty. The “image” associated with beauty changes drastically depending on where you are, so maybe a change of scenery is appropriate. Another thing to consider is that beauty fades. Over time we lose our looks, but the value of our hearts and the caliber of person we are will never leave us.

Now, don’t take this to say you should not hit the gym (I do intense weight lifting and cardio six days a week), but I also make sure to take time for working on my heart.

Those who may not think you are beautiful, may have been blessed (and work toward) external beauty, but the process of strengthening character is a separate venture than building biceps. Yes, making and keeping a regiment of physical health and beauty builds devotion and structure in ones life – all good for the character – but you have to find those other things in life that excite you. Not having someone to “love you or call you beautiful” should never limit you.

I think back to the many great experiences I have had in life, and many of them were lonely ventures, but had I not gone out willing to conquer, I would never had been successful.

Try this. Think of something you feel would be impossible for you to do, a dream that perhaps is out of reach. Now break it down into manageable tasks, and before you know it, the impossible becomes possible. Incorporating this into your life is making how you live also make your dreams come true.

The last thing to consider while doing this is what you give. Placing emphasis beyond yourself is a wonderful way of attracting others to you. Isn’t it interesting how that works? Regardless of how you look, self-confidence is always sexy and always in style. More than anything, people are attracted to confidence. If you like who you are and radiate confidence, then people will want to be a part of that.

On a closing note, I believe that my philosophy on beauty and revenge go hand in hand. The best revenge is “looking good and being successful.” I wholeheartedly believe this because it encourages you to be your personal best and focuses on you rather than actions of revenge against someone else.

To all of those who have never told you that you are beautiful, or blatantly gone out of their way to show disapproval of you, their beauty will fade in time, and all they will be left with is an ugly soul. So, hold your head high, live your life with integrity, and I guarantee that you will be blessed not only with beauty, but also with grace. Believe me, that is a combination that anyone will find attractive.

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