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Seven TV drinking games to keep you warm and toasty all winter long

All that snow on the ground got you down? Perk up and pour yourself some hooch as you settle in for a winter’s worth of critically acclaimed TV and these seven new drinking games to help smooth that slow transition to spring.

1. The Golden Globes (NBC)

Take a sip of beer or wine when:

  • Hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler change gowns.
  • Music is cued to hurry a lengthy acceptance speech that by that point is probably spilling over into soapbox territory anyway.
  • A winner recognizes his or her same-sex partner by name.

Take a shot when:

  • A presenter and/or winner appears visibly drunk or high on stage; the likelihood of this will increase exponentially as each hour passes. Or if Sean Young is invited.
  • An acceptance speech turns into a political speech about freedom of speech. You’ll probably want to pick up a big bottle of tequila this year.
  • North Korea and Sony are mentioned in the same sentence.

2. Girls (HBO)

Take a sip of beer or wine when:

  • Hannah bears her breasts.
  • Adam mentions his dick.
  • Somebody rides a bike. Because nobody has a driver’s license on this show.

Take a shot when:

  • Marnie laments about her music career, or sheds a tear. She’s prone to do both; sometimes simultaneously.
  • One of the girls physically hits another. These chicks are violent, yo.
  • Elijah flashes his sweet cheeks.

3. American Horror Story: Freak Show (FX)

Take a sip of beer or wine when:

  • Neil Patrick Harris’ Chester performs a “magic trick.”
  • Dandy goes from zero to crazy. (We miss you, Patti.)
  • Elsa obsesses about her career in television – which is totally in the cards, but for how long?

Take a shot when:

  • A freak lies.
  • A freak cries.
  • A freak dies.

4. The Walking Dead (AMC)

Take a sip of beer or wine when:

  • A walker is put down for good. It’s much easier now that the skulls have gone soft.
  • Somebody is saved from being walker-bait just in the knick of time.
  • You feel hopeless because nothing is going to get better, ever. Just like Beth said it wouldn’t.

Take a shot when:

  • Judith tries to get everyone killed by being Judith.
  • The group finds food – and actually eats it.
  • An LGBT character appears on screen. Their world will get a little gayer soon.

5. How to Get Away With Murder (ABC)

Take a sip of beer or wine when:

  • Michaela bickers with her classmates.
  • Sam appears in a flashback. There’s always life after death in Shonda Land.
  • Anybody utters the word “affair.” This isn’t a monogamy-minded group, y’all.

Take a shot when:

  • Annalise is wigless.
  • Connor gets down and dirty with the dude du jour.
  • You watch a scene so WTF that you have to rewind it on your DVR.

6. Downton Abbey (PBS)

Take a sip of beer or wine when:

  • The Dowager Countess throws shade.
  • Thomas Barrow talks smack.
  • Mary acts like a bitch.

Take a shot when:

  • A sexual tryst takes place that transcends the class system.
  • A new invention of the era is introduced.
  • A correspondence containing bad news arrives.

7. Looking (HBO)

Take a sip of beer or wine when:

  • You hear the words “top,” “bottom” or “vers.”
  • They refer to social media and/or dating sites and apps.
  • You see butt.

Take a shot when:

  • Richie takes it off.
  • Patrick and Kevin get it on.
  • Somebody can’t get it up.

 

American Horror Story photo courtesy of FX.

Mikey Rox

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He currently lives in his van, saving money and traveling the country. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.

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