Listen to this articleANNUAL EVENTS
The Parkites are at it again. Nether a year goes by that they can’t find a reason to satirize themselves … and no, that’s not a euphemism! But don’t beg to get in, they need the mula to upkeep Justin Bieber’s new home.
22Friday — Park City Follies
Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St, Park City, times vary, through May 1. Tickets $29-45, egyptiantheatrecompany.com
CONCERTS
Lady Gaga’s doppleganger hits the Utah stage this month … and no, I don’t mean Gene Geiber. If you don’t know Wiki, she runs in a circle with Tay Tay, KP and the Lorde. Damn I wish I was Ellie, I just run continuously in tiny circles with my shadow.
Rihanna don’t wanna be baptized Momo-anna but she’s willing to step on sacred ground … and no, I don’t mean Try-Angles. If you don’t know Wiki, she’s a Barbarian. Oh, wait … Barbadian!! Oh shit, am I going to get a beat down from Chris Brown?
13Wednesday — Ellie Goulding
Maverik Center, 3200 Decker Lake Dr, WVC, 7pm. Tickets $29.50-59.50, smithstix.com
27Wednesday — Rihanna
Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 S. Temple, 7:30pm. Tickets $27.50-123, smithstix.com
DANCE
Screw the groundhog, you know Spring has sprung when the dancers come out of hibernation. Rested, and full of nuts … wait, is that what groundhogs hoard? I mean I d0, but then again the nuts I collect have a masculine name attached to them. Anyhoo, it’s all about SALT, Squatters, Samba, Salt Lake Vocal Artists and Sergei. To learn more visit the website noted … or Wiki!
1Friday — SALT in Concert
Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Saturday. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org
7Thursday — Spring Season
Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Apr. 3. Tickets $35, artsaltlake.org
— Conexao (Connection)
Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Apr. 3. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org
14Thursday — Revere
Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Apr. 16. Tickets $30, artsaltlake.org
15Friday — The Nijinksy Revolution
Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, times vary, through Apr. 23. Tickets $19-87, artsaltlake.org
MOVIES
Okay. there’s probably not much gayness about this movie because Channing Tatum isn’t in it, but what the hell, Melissa McCarthy can hoard my nuts any day. Oh shit, am I going to get a beat down from Ben Falcone?
8Friday — The Boss
Theaters and times vary, through … depends on how good it is. Tickets $6.75-9.25.
SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS
Drag King Paula and Drag Queen RuPaul (by the way, one in the same!) open and close this month of homonicity (fuck off, it’s a Wiki word!) in Salt Lake. In between you will “have the time of your life” at Utah Symphony’s Let’s Dance! But even more so with Zachary Quinto … trust me, he’s the ultimate voyage. Just sayin’!
1Friday — Paula Poundstone
Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm. Tickets $46, artsaltlake.org
22Friday — Let’s Dance!
Abravanel Hall, 123 S. Temple, 7:30pm, through Saturday. Tickets $18-64, artsaltlake.org
29Friday — Star Trek: The Ultimate Voyage
Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Cir., UofU, 8pm. Tickets $45-65, kingtix.com
30Saturday — RuPaul’s Drag Race: Battle of the Seasons
The Depot, 400 S. Temple, 9pm. Tickets $37.50, 21+ only, smithstix.com
THEATRE
When I heard this play by a Utah playwright was about politics, I thought Remington was Bernie Sanders and Weasel was Donald Trump, but it turns out that it’s about college politics, so Remington I guess is Annalise Keating and Weasel is Leslie Graham. Those betches have more nuts than I do (not Bernie and Donald Dumb Ass).
22Friday — Remington and Weasel
Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, times vary, through May 7. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org
UPCOMING EVENTS
May 2, Violent Femmes, The Depot, smithstix.com
June 3, The Cure, Maverik Center, smithstix.com
June 29, Janet Jackson, Vivint Smart Home Arena, smithstix.com
