Creep of the Week

Creep of the Week: Tim Wildmon

By D’Anne Witkowski


Happy Pride Month, everybody! Or as right-wingers like to call it, End Times.

As you may know, President Obama has once again issued an official proclamation that June is Pride Month and that for 30 glorious days all flags shall be rainbow, all marriages shall be gay, and only transgender people will be allowed to use public restrooms.

Alas, not everybody’s happy about that. Take American Family Association President Tim Wildmon, for example. He’s, like, totally grossed out by Obama’s support for LGBT people. So grossed out, in fact, that he and a couple of his buddies, AFA Public Policy Analyst Abe Hamilton III and AFA Executive Vice-President Ed Vitagliano, filmed a little gripe fest video.

The video’s shot in what appears to be the AFA break room. It’s especially cute that the video identifies the subjects as Abe, Tim and Ed, as if they’re just three regular joes shooting the shit in their polo shirts and Dockers next to an enormous coffee grinder that looks like it was stolen from a Trader Joe’s.

“Well, it’s June. So it’s LGBT Pride Month all over America, maybe all over the world, I’m not sure,” Wildmon begins the conversation.

Hamilton, standing to the left and holding a copy of what is presumed to be Obama’s Proclamation declaring June LGBT Pride Month, points out that Obama has been throwing June LGBT wolves ever since 2009.

Vitagliano then chimes in that this whole thing is “pure politics.”

“In this proclamation the president states … that you should not be fired for who you are or who you love,” Vitagliano says. “I would like to see the president also add, ‘You also should not be fired for what you believe.’ Because the only ones I know that are getting fired in this country in 2016 are Christians because they oppose that proclamation and the ideas behind it.”

Exactly. Christians can hardly hold a job at all in America. It’s an epidemic. Why can’t we return to the kinder, gentler days when people could tell gays to go straight to Hell out of sincerely held religious beliefs? North Carolina knows what I’m talkin’ about.

“You know one of the real ironies of this proclamation is the president here cites the need for more funding for HIV/AIDS,” Wildmon says. “But, unlike Michelle Obama, who advocates that children stay off the sodas, he doesn’t advocate behavior change. When it comes to homosexual behavior effecting your health, why doesn’t he say, ‘Stop doing what you’re doing and you won’t get AIDS?'”

I think we all know that “doing what you’re doing” means anal sex, which Wildmon, who apparently didn’t get the memo that HIV/AIDS isn’t something only homos get, and his friends are obsessed with talking about.

Also, I must’ve missed the part of the proclamation that says, “Everybody bear back without condoms, woo hoo!”

Last time I checked, the president appointed the head of the Centers for Disease Control, Dr. Tom Frieden, in 2009. The CDC website has a very comprehensive section about HIV/AIDS including a Risk Reduction Tool that allows users to investigate the risks of various sex acts whether their partner is HIV+ or HIV- and whether a condom is being used.

The site minces no words in a section for men who have sex with men: “Anal sex is the riskiest type of sex for getting or transmitting HIV.” The CDC is hardly advocating unsafe sex.

That said, I have a feeling that Wildmon and his pals are not aware of the CDC site. If they were they’d be complaining that Obama’s promoting sexual debauchery simply by acknowledging that there exist men who have sex with men. No doubt any tax payer money being spent on keeping homos from dying goes against their “sincerely held religious beliefs.”

DAnne Witkowski

D'Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

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