By D’Anne Witkowski
As part of the liberal media I have been working night and day to rig this election for Hillary Clinton and I am exhausted. And I know what you’re thinking: “D’Anne (as we are on a first name basis), you’re not supposed to admit that! It’s all supposed to be done in secret.” But Donald Trump has exposed the plan, so the pussy is out of the bag.
Granted, not all LGBT people have gotten the message. Today I watched a video of a guy in a Gays for Trump t-shirt attack an anti-Trump protester and an adorable gay couple from Ohio who say they’re voting for Trump because jerbs in the steel industry (never mind that Trump uses steel made in China. Just keep waving the American flag around). There’s also a Gays for Trump Facebook page that has over 4,000 likes. And gay billionaire Peter Thiel is giving Trump $1.25 million at a time when other major donors are fleeing the candidate. But hey, not all gays are liberal. Not all the gays are smart, either. Then again, maybe they’re just undercover agents spying for Team Rainbow. I guess we’ll never know.
If you follow this column, you know that Trump has been my Creep for weeks now. And if you’re getting sick of it, believe me, I feel your pain. This election feels like a bad dream where you can only run in slow motion away from a rich white man trying to grope you and stick his tongue down your throat. And then you wake up to hear stories of a rich white man trying to grope women and stick his tongue down their throats and that there are people who actually want to make him President and you realize you’re living in a nightmare world.
At this point ten women have come out publicly claiming to be the victims of a whole host of sexual misconduct by Trump. The candidate denies it all, even claiming that some of the women weren’t attractive enough to molest in the first place. As if being molested by Trump should be considered some kind of compliment.
Look, Trump’s misogyny matters whether or not you’re a woman because misogyny is at the root of anti-LGBT animus. Gay men are hated for “acting like women.” Lesbians are hated for “acting like men” and not having sex with men or existing to please heterosexual men. Bisexuals straddle both of these worlds. And the very idea of being trans is the ultimate “insult” to heterosexist gender norms. As some people who don’t understand, or care to understand, see it, to be a man who wants to be a woman is unfathomable in a world where women are considered inferior. And, of course, a woman who becomes a man is just pretending and will never be a “real” man.
So when Donald Trump brags about being able to grab women “by the pussy” and still has people supporting him it is alarming not just because it demonstrates Trump’s total disregard for women as human beings. It also reveals a sick and limited idea of gender roles that puts heterosexual men at the top of the gender hierarchy, and everyone else existing only in relationship to whatever heterosexual men deem them good for.
We’ve made so much progress in this country when it comes to LGBT rights, but Trump is a painful reminder of how much more work we have to do. He’s also a product of backlash: it’s not a surprise that white, heterosexual, cisgender males are his biggest supporters. And to anyone who has paid any attention to history in this country, that is not a demographic that tends to do very well by women and minorities.
So get out there and “rig” the “election” by “voting” for Hillary “Clinton” on Nov. 8 at your “local” polling “place.” (As for the “quotes,” the liberal “media” and its “legions” know what I “mean.” Wink, “wink.”)