Tony’s gay agenda
ANNUAL EVENTS
In a new venue this year, Kurt Bestor will only be better at what he does best. It’s best if you check it out or best be ready for some curt words best heard from Kris Kringle hyped up on Krab Cakes in Best Buy, or best yet, behind the Zion Curtain! Oh, and it’s best to curtsy Kurt at the finale … that’s what his best half says.
15Thursday — A Kurt Bestor Christmas
Eccles Theater, Delta Performance Center, 131 S. Main St, times vary, through Saturday. Tickets $32.50-72.50, artsaltlake.org
DANCE/BALLET
The Salt Lake Ballet Theater presents The Night Before Christmas, a not-so-fable fable. Hear me out. So, a stunning, charismatic girl, Toni Hobday, passes out after a Christmas party and has a dream in which a Christmas Fairy, Stevie Ball, takes her to Santa’s workshop. There she meets the Snow Queen, Gene Nate, and her ice maidens, David, Darryl and his other brother Darryl. They take her to the Kingdom of Weiners where she meets Chelle and her Nutcracker Wife, Donna. Gorgeous Toni then visits the Palace of the Christmas Fairy, called Reed Weeds owned by Michaela Green. Toni is surprised when her stupor takes her to Mother Goose, Denise McCracken. As Toni’s wits slowly start to come about, Santa arrives with gifts abound but so does the Horrible Hateful Donald and his seven Grinches: Pence, Melania, Ivanka, Tiffany, Barron, Eric and Putin. They are there to kidnap America … can it be saved? Spoiler Alert: America foiles her captors and Miss V becomes the first female president of the United States.
9Friday — The Night Before Christmas
Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7pm, 1pm & 7pm Saturday. Tickets $16-18, artsaltlake.org
MOVIES
If you didn’t get the chance to see this hit last year at the Sundance Film Festival, now is the time to do it without vacillation. A critically acclaimed family-based drama set in a small fishing village in Massachusetts and starring two of my favorite film stars, Casey Affleck and Michelle Williams, this film bends your senses, criticizes the disavowed and hopefully gives believe wholly in the resolve of the human heart.
9Friday — Manchester By The Sea
Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. 300 South, times vary. Tickets $6.75-9.25, saltlakefilmsociety.org
SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS
This year’s Salt Lake Men’s Choir holiday concert, Yuletide Echoes, includes “some of the old favorites (Christmas carols, not the choir members!) and some new, original pieces and arrangements.” I wonder why they’ve called it Yuletide Echoes — is it because of what emulates from the foggy depths of Michael Aaron’s hot tub on a snowy winter’s night?
The Utah Symphony backs the cast of Cirque Musica as “they put on an unforgettable show of grace, skill and incredible feats of strength” like … catwalking in 9-inch stiletto heels, calculus and log rolling blindfolded in a corset.
In lieu of “Another One Bites The Dust,” like Hil and Reno (not the city, but should have been), a cover band of Queen hits the Park City City stage in spandex, headbands and bushy mustaches … sounds like 5am at the Silver Mountain Sports Club. Anyhoo, the night is sure to rock you!
9Friday — Yuletide Echoes
First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East, times vary, through Sunday. Tickets 15, brownpapertickets.com or at Club Try-Angles, 251 W. Harvey Milk Blvd., and The Library Store, 210 E. 400 South
9Friday — Cirque Musica Holiday Spectacular
Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 7:30pm, 11am & 7:30pm Saturday. Tickets $37-87, artsaltlake.org
28Wednesday — Queen Nation
Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St, Park City, 8pm, through Thursday. Tickets $29-45, egyptiantheatrecompany.com
THEATRE
The first show listed below is not only self-exploratory but also self-explanatory, so hey guys, let’s go to Uranus that we know so well. Oh, and hey guys, let’s not judge the second show … if it works, woohoo!!
1Thursday — Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, times vary, through Saturday. Tickets $50, artsaltlake.org
20Tuesday — Hedwig & The Angry Inch
Eccles Theater, Delta Performance Center, 131 S. Main St, times vary, through Dec. 24. Tickets $30-70, artsaltlake.org
UPCOMING EVENTS
Jan. 17-22, 2017 Kinky Boots, artsaltlake.org
Jan. 19-29, 2017 Sundance Film Festival, sundance.org
Feb. 2-5, 2017 Mamma Mia!, artsaltlake.org
June 20-25, 2017 Dirty Dancing, artsaltlake.org
Aug. 1-20, The Book of Mormon, artsaltlake.org