c.2021, Atria, $17, 368 pages
The applause is all for you this time.
It’s deafening, really – perhaps because there’s a standing ovation beneath it. All the work you did, the emoting, the emotions, you know how much your fans appreciate it. So take a bow. Drink in the love. As in the new novel, “The Charm Offensive” by Alison Cochrun, that’s one thing that’s sometimes missing in life.
Dev Deshpande was good at his job. He knew it, his colleagues knew it, it was fact. He might personally be terrible at love – case in point: he was still smarting from a three-months-ago break-up with his boyfriend, Ryan – but Dev was a pro at his job as producer for the reality TV show, Ever After. In fact, he’d been in charge of making dreams happen for six years’ worth of beautiful Ever After contestants; it helped that he believed in fairy tales.
Maybe one day, he’d find his own Prince Charming.
Just not this season.
This season, his lead director made him handle the “prince” instead of the usual “princesses,” and that was a challenge.
Charles Winshaw was twenty-eight, devastatingly handsome, extremely wealthy, and a nervous, introverted nerd who rarely dated. Geeky, awkward, and prone to panic attacks, he sincerely had no clue how to be romantic. Truth was, he was only there because his best friend and agent put him on Ever After to counter a reputation for being weird.
Still, Charlie was weird, and it was up to Dev to make him work for the show.
Shoring up Charlie’s confidence didn’t work, and neither did a pep talk. He couldn’t seem to just perform a role without freaking out and it was becoming obvious. By the time Dev’s assistant suggested having a few practice dates, Dev was willing to try anything.
He took Charlie to dinner. He spent time doing jigsaw puzzles with him, and he got Charlie to relax a little. If sparks flew, well, it was one-sided: Charlie was completely straight.
You know what’s going to happen in the end, don’t you? Of course, you do. You’ll know it by Page Thirty, step-by-step, with virtually no surprises, which leaves a long way to the final sentence of “The Charm Offensive.”
Now, it’s true that this novel is cute. It has its lightly humorous moments and author Alison Cochrun gives it a good cast, from contestant to show creator. It doesn’t lack details; in fact, reality dating show-watchers will feel right at home here. It even has the ubiquitous panoply of exotic locales for the “challenges” that the contestants must do.
At issue is the length of this book. There’s too much of it, too many shirts that creep up, too many mentions of vomit, too much needless drama, too many will-he-won’t-he, when we know full well he will. This extra doesn’t ratchet up the tension, it makes things slow. And so: cute story, familiar scenes, good characters in “The Charm Offensive.” But if taut is what you want in a rom-com, leave this book and bow out.