Ep. 4 Cease, Desist, and Side-Eye
The thump came again.
Everyone froze.
“That was not the wind,” Mateo said.
They crowded toward the living room window, peering through the sheer curtains. In the narrow space between their house and the newly purchased place next door, a man in a hoodie was hauling a ladder back into Grant Whitaker’s yard.
“Is he… measuring our house?” Eli whispered.
Paige snapped photos on her phone. “Document everything,” she muttered, already in litigation mode.
By Monday morning, the notices arrived. Seven envelopes, each with a name handwritten in elegant, spiteful cursive.
They opened them together.
Eli’s: Warning for excessive guests.
Mateo’s: Noise complaints — documented.
Jonah’s: Unauthorized overnight visitors.
Alex’s: Fire code violation.
Nora and Paige’s: Occupancy review pending.
“Why do we get a joint notice?” Nora demanded.
Grant’s email arrived five minutes later.
“Given the dynamic nature of your household, I believe it’s time to reassess suitability. Some of you may be happier elsewhere.”
Mateo slammed his envelope onto the table. “He’s trying to break us up.”
“And not just romantically,” Jonah said.
That afternoon, Paige called in a favor from a friend at Legal Aid. The verdict wasn’t great.
“Utah tenant law favors property owners,” Paige relayed grimly. “But harassment and selective enforcement? That’s something.”
Alex was already setting up a shared Google Drive folder titled “Whitaker Evidence.”
By evening, the house was buzzing with nervous energy. Everyone was home — too home.
Which was when the first neighbor appeared.
She knocked timidly, holding a plate of lemon bars. Mid-sixties. Perfect hair. Perfect smile.
“I’m Marjorie,” she said. “Grant asked me to introduce myself.”
Oh no, Eli thought.
Marjorie’s eyes flicked over the living room, lingering on the Pride flag Grant had not removed.
“I’ve lived here thirty years,” she said sweetly. “We like things quiet.”
Mateo beamed. “You’re going to love us.”
She did not laugh.
“Grant says you host… gatherings,” Marjorie continued. “We just worry about safety.”
“Safety from what?” Nora asked.
Marjorie leaned closer. “Young men.”
Jonah stiffened.
Eli stepped in. “We’re very boring. Board games. Soup nights.”
Marjorie smiled. “Good. Because Grant is very serious about improving the neighborhood.”
After she left, Mateo groaned. “We’ve been HOA’d by proxy.”
That night, the power went out.
Not the whole block. Just their house.
Alex checked the breaker. “Nothing tripped.”
From the window, Eli could see Grant’s house glowing warmly next door.
Then his phone buzzed.
“Power issues can be dangerous. Might want to consider whether this house is still suitable. —G”
Paige stared at the message. “That’s a threat.”
Outside, footsteps crunched on gravel.
Then a voice called out, loud enough to hear through the wall.
“Inspection tomorrow,” Grant said pleasantly. “Fire department.”
The lights flickered back on.
And somewhere upstairs, glass shattered.
Everyone ran.
