Letter: Gov. Cox, you created hope, then lost trust

Governor Cox and Lt. Governor Henderson,

In between seeing the wonderful and joyous photographs and posts about the Utah Pride Festival, I have taken a few days to reflect your recent announcement of “Fidelity Month,” and I feel compelled to speak, not just as a Queer person, but as the former CEO of the Utah Pride Center, and as someone who after meeting you many times, once believed deeply in your willingness to lead with courage, compassion, and inclusion.

While I now live in Australia, I have so many incredible memories of my time and friends in Utah. Particularly of the great honour I had to be part of the LGBTQ+ community there, where I got to experience so many wonderful things as CEO of the Pride Center. One of those incredible moments came in 2021, you visited the Utah Pride Center.

You sat with our team, and you told us you were a Governor for all of us. I remember so clearly the day Lt. Governor Henderson and then the day that Governor Cox walked through the doors of the Utah Pride Center – the first Utah Governor and Lt. Governors to ever do so. It was amazing! I remember a few days later taking the Lt. Governor for a private and personal walk through our “PRIDE GARDEN” (that we proudly held in Covid-affected 2021 in place of the Pride Festival), with her child and showing them the stories and exhibitions and joy of the event. They were appreciative of the work and the community. In your visit to the UPC Governor Cox, you spoke to us about the need for spaces like the Utah Pride Center, you told us that Utah had “a long way to go”, and that the amazing work of the UPC team and community made the whole State more “inclusive and kind” – you posted about it on your social media account to show you were there and you told us you were there for us, the LGBTQ+ community of Utah.

That moment mattered! It mattered to our staff, to our volunteers, and most importantly to the LGBTQ+ Utahns who so rarely see themselves acknowledged by those in power. Your visit, and your words, created something fragile but powerful: HOPE!

In 2021, you formally recognized Pride Month and wrote that Utah must “encourage conversations about what it means to love each other, understand our differences, and support our LGBTQ+ friends and family.” You acknowledged that members of our community who do not feel loved and accepted experience higher rates of mental health challenges. You called on Utah to “cultivate a climate of inclusion and unconditional love for all” and to “strive to be more inclusive and accepting” of LGBTQ+ people. Your own statement on your social media account was that we must “celebrate our common humanity” through love and understanding.

Those were not neutral statements. They were clear, moral declarations about who belongs in Utah and what kind of culture we are striving to build.

Which is why this June feels so different and why I am so disappointed. I feel lied to. I feel deceived, and I feel that you have hurt a community that did not deserve your cowardice.

Your decision to forgo recognizing Pride Month, after years of doing so, and instead elevate “Fidelity Month” stands in direct contrast to those earlier commitments. To be clear, many people may find meaning in Fidelity Month, and I would celebrate that with them. But when it is introduced in place of acknowledging Pride Month, it does not land as additive. It lands as a substitution. And that substitution comes at the expense of a community you once publicly affirmed.

At a time when Governors across your country, across party lines, continue to recognize Pride Month and the humanity of LGBTQ+ people, your absence from that recognition is felt more deeply. Because it is not just silence; it is a departure from your own words.

So I am left with some difficult questions – ones that I suspect many are now asking:

Were those words about “unconditional love” and “inclusion” reflective of a true and enduring commitment? Or were they situational, spoken when it was easier, and set aside when it became politically inconvenient? Are you a Governor who can be trusted when times get hard? Do you stand for an Utah where all can belong and where kindness matters?

Because from where many of us stand today, this decision does not reflect the Utah you once described. It feels less like leadership rooted in principle and more like alignment with talking points that diminish a community that already carries disproportionate harm.

Utah does not become more unified by choosing which communities are worthy of recognition when times are easy. We do not build a culture of hope, love, and understanding by omitting those who most need to be seen. The values you outlined in your own proclamation – that we must listen, include, support, and love unconditionally – do not hold true if they are not applied consistently.

I am also thinking about how this moment is being read beyond the LGBTQ+ community – by other intersectional and marginalized communities across Utah who are watching closely. When leadership publicly affirms a community one year and withholds that recognition the next, it sends a broader message about the conditional nature of belonging. Communities of color, First Nations communities, immigrant families, people with disabilities, and others who have historically had to fight to be seen and respected understand this pattern well. They know what it means when inclusion is treated as optional or expendable. And I imagine many are asking the same question we are: if support can be so easily withdrawn from one community, what does that mean for the stability of support for any of us? True inclusion is not selective; it is consistent, especially when it is difficult.

And yet, even in this disappointment, I want to be clear about something bigger than any proclamation:

The LGBTQ+ community in Utah is not diminished by your silence. They are still here. They are still building community, creating belonging, and supporting one another in ways that are real and tangible, whether recognized by the State or not.

To every LGBTQ+ Utahn who may feel unseen right now, to every amazing Queer person in Utah whom I had the pleasure to work with and meet, please know that as I sit here in Australia, observing this from so far away, please know that you are in my heart and that your worth is not determined by a statement from elected leadership. Your belonging is inherent. You are part of an amazing and powerful community, and you always will be.

Governor Cox, leadership is not about never getting it wrong – it is about having the courage to stand by your values, especially when it is difficult. I hope you will reflect on your own words from 2021, and consider what it means to truly build the inclusive and compassionate Utah you once described. I hope you will recognise the pain caused and the ways in which you might make some small repair by putting out a Pride Month proclamation. I hope that one day I might see again the leader and person who I thought you were when we met those many years ago.

To the wonderful Utah LGBTQ+ community and the Utah Pride Center – thank you for having changed my life and the lives of so many. Keep up the amazing work! Love will always “trump” hate!

Happy Pride Month to you, Governor Cox, and Lt. Governor Henderson!

Dr. Rob Moolman
Former CEO, Utah Pride Center