Mia Love is dead
Former Representative Mia Love died in March. She made history by becoming the first Black GOP woman elected to the U.S. House back in 2014. She painted herself as a new type of Republican. But when it came to LGBTQ+ rights, she sang the same tired song.
More than a decade since she was elected, the Republicans are still fighting against equality. This year, five states proposed measures for the U.S. Supreme Court to overturn marriage equality. Another four want a new category, “covenant marriage”, exclusively for one man and one woman.
Meanwhile, companies like Target, Comcast, and Anheuser-Busch have pulled out of Pride events around the country. And in Utah, a new law bans the display of Pride (and other) flags on state government properties.
That’s a lot of hate. It’s difficult for LGBTQ+ people to digest, and even more difficult for queer parents to explain to their kids.
“There has always been hate in the world, and at many points in history it has been aimed at the LGBTQIA+ community,” Dr. Katie Moore, PsyD, a licensed psychologist with Affirming Psychological Services in Irvine, Calif., says. “It’s not whether we view it as hate, it’s how we respond to that hate that is the bigger issue.”
One suggestion she offers is to avoid allowing all the negative news to become paralyzing. Instead, look for appropriate ways to “resist and persist.” None of these attacks against the queer community and our families are new. Whether it’s banning books featuring two moms or the Defense of Marriage Act, we’ve been through this before, and eventually, we came out as the winners.
But the latest actions coming out of Washington and Corporate America can be a lot to handle. Dr. Moore adds, “Limit your exposure to things that are overwhelming. While we still need to know all of the big, scary things, we don’t need to read every article on every single news story. Read one or two, and if there is no new information, move on rather than overwhelming yourself with reading through difficult details over and over again.”
Also, don’t feel like you have to be involved in every action against these dehumanizing attacks. Sometimes, just surviving is a show of great strength and resistance.
And if the state of the world right now is anxiety-evoking for LGBTQ+ people, imagine how it is for our children. For older kids, it may be helpful to have a frank discussion about America’s history. Dr. Moore believes that explaining the juxtaposition of the ideal of equality on which the country was supposedly founded against the reality of 300 years of oppression of various groups can help put the current situation into context.
For younger kids, this is an opportunity to remind them of how truly awesome queer families are – even if not everyone understands that. Talking about how real friends always want the best for you will also help them realize they likely have their own strong community of support.
By the way, that goes for companies too. “A company that truly cares about your community won’t only care during Pride month,” Moore adds.
With so much hate currently directed at the LGBTQ+ community, it’s easy to respond with our own hate. Forgiving those whom we believe have hated us says far more about us than it does about them.
Mia Love always refused to answer questions for this column. Her policies and votes in Congress hurt my family and the LGBTQ+ community. I admit, I didn’t like her, but I never hated her.
May her memory be eternal.
You can contact Dr. Katie Moore at TheraQ.org or AffirmingPsychologicalServices.com
